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  • Number of visits : 4620
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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dtbomb's page activity

Visits<b>Dilexar</b> - the 10/20/2016 at 4:21am<b>DMEN469</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 3:10pm<b>wellthisisntgood</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 9:14pm<b>shabadabba</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 3:02am<b>TheGoatTamer</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 1:18am<b>thesunlord</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 3:47pm<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 2:13pm<b>leJar</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 11:05pm<b>SleepyPharma</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 6:04pm<b>AnimanyCrazyGirl</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 12:12am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 3:39pm<b>Jbam1997</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 9:18pm<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 10:45pm<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 11:24pm<b>imerichello</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 11:52pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 7:17pm<b>ItsAlly</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 2:09am<b>mf727hihi</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 1:27pm

Fucked!<b>Dilexar</b> - the 10/20/2016 at 10:21am<b>MlgMrPigy</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 2:49am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 6:28pm<b>ARCHANGELGABRIEL</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 5:18am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 9:50pm

dtbomb's FML badges


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It’s in the can

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dtbomb's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend's transition into an annoying hipster is complete. It started with the not-really-necessary nerd glasses and the Mötley Crüe t-shirt, the final straw being the affected British accent. I'm considering where to dump the body. FML

by Anonymous / 09/24/2012 at 1:07am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

by WhyAppleWhy / 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I summoned up the courage to tell my crush how I've felt about her for the past two years. I really poured out my heart and soul, and she nodded and smiled throughout. Once I'd finished, she told me that she believes "sex is unnatural", and that she could never date a guy who wanted it. FML

by wow / 12/11/2011 at 8:37pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2011 at 6:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML

by steve-o / 11/02/2011 at 1:06am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids

Today, at football practice, a 200lb lineman ended up landing on my stomach. The weight made me shit myself. My new nickname is "Muddbutt". FML

by FirstStringQB / 10/01/2011 at 6:45pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

by awesomekidsmum / 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I found out that my neighbors took it upon themselves to knock down the fence we shared, and putting up a new one. Thus fencing my pool into their yard. When I asked them why, he replied, "We thought you weren't coming back." I was gone for 4 months tending to my sister with breast cancer. FML

by Pool-less / 09/04/2011 at 2:09am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating furiously. To Star Trek. FML

by May / 09/04/2011 at 12:08am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, since I'm too ashamed to go buy a proper sex toy, I used an old Star Wars toy sword instead. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2011 at 1:53am / Mexico (Distrito Federal) / Intimacy

Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML

by assante2010 / 07/23/2011 at 8:09pm / United States (Maine) / Love

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

by whyme102008 / 07/13/2011 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML

by John jacob / 06/13/2011 at 2:25am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy