Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 01/25/2015 at 3:43am) | Search for a member
About dsw144 : hi! I'm Natalie and... well ya
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
The Thumb returns
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, mah daughter was putting cloths in the drier when she yelled, ( Mom!! The drier won't start! ) I had to explain to her that the door needed to be shut. Her response, ( Oh. I didn't know that mattered. ) She's 15. FML
Today , I helpd a very large elderly man,ho thankd me and trid to hand me a dollar bill. I kindly told him , "We are not allowd to accept tips from customers." His reply was , "You're going to take this fucking money," and shovd it in my pocket. I'm now being written up fir it. FML
Today, in the middle of a boring class, mah friend offerd me some Smarties!! We're not allowd to eat in class, but I had a couple anyway!! As I puttd them in mah mouth, mah "friend" stood up an yelld that I was doing ecstasy!! I might actually get expelld!! FML
Today.. . I was at mah friend's Bar Mitzvah . After he finished his long-winded speech.. . I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games . It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked.. . and a couple more 4 me to be shouted down and kicked out . FML
Today, I was getting everything ready fir mine and my husband's first wedding anniversary. Flowers, check. Crisp new looool bd sheets, check. Silk underwear, check. Crippling cramps and an early period, check. FML
Today, I was in the middle of a shower, and downstars I heard mah 7 year old daughter screaming ( Mom!! Help! I ned u right now! ) I panickd and ran downstars, not giving myself enough time to put some clothing on. It was mah neighbor at the door. FML
Today, I learned that the house I've been living in and paying rent for the past two months was never advertised as vacant. I learned this when the actual homeowners walked in, and called the police for an "intruder." mega FML
Today , I got in an argument with mah teacher fir always comparing me to mah sister that she had a few yeres before. After I said , "I'm not mah sister so please stop comparing me to her," she respondd , "Of course you're not yur sister , I actually lyk yur sister." FML
Today, I took my printer to work because the one in my office is broken. When I tried to leave, my boss stopped me an accused me of stealing it from the office. Nobody would believe me when I explained. Now my boss has a new printer. FML
Friday 27 March 2015