Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

dsw144

Search for a member

dsw144

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 June 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 249
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About dsw144 : hi! I'm Natalie and... well ya

dsw144's page activity

Visits<b>Xanster82</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 11:49pm<b>Vanshikap</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 3:23pm<b>cjrust</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 12:13am<b>mazdatuner09</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 11:58pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 11:29pm<b>tuckit</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 6:20pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 5:45pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 5:14pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 3:06pm<b>jad0016</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 10:26pm

dsw144's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of dsw144's badges

dsw144's favorite FMLs

Today, I got fired from my job. Why? Apparently taking 10 minutes to take a shit is too long for some people. FML

#21219077
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26895) - you deserved it (5151)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:05am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, the fire alarm went off at work. My office is on the second floor, and the door to the stairs were jammed shut. The only way out was jumping out the window. The best part was breaking my leg due to someone burning their lunch. FML

#21218720
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26608) - you deserved it (5098)

On 07/23/2014 at 9:34pm - health - by timv94 (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boss is still refusing to hire any more people because he's convinced I can handle all of the work after the majority of staff quit. FML

#21217678
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32012) - you deserved it (2453)

On 07/22/2014 at 8:51pm - work - by Inthedumps (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to take my cat to the vet. On the way there, he managed to get out of his cage, climb into the front seat, onto my chest, and howl in my face as I tried to drive down the highway. I ended up with stitches and still got charged for missing my cat's appointment. FML

#21216576
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32959) - you deserved it (4478)

On 07/21/2014 at 6:49pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was scrubbing the bloody aftermath of a successful mouse trap off of my stove with an old toothbrush. After a few good scrubs, out of habit I put the toothbrush in my mouth while I turned on the water. FML

Today, I was out with my boyfriend, when he started browsing wedding rings. He found a ring, proposed to me right there in front of a crowd, and then was promptly denied a payment plan. We left without a ring. FML

#21216427
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45317) - you deserved it (4342)

On 07/21/2014 at 3:31pm - love - by badluck - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. The officer was nice and let me off with just a warning. That is, until my dipshit brother yelled "Fucking pig!" out the window as the officer walked back to his car. FML

#21216216
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28399) - you deserved it (19894)

On 07/21/2014 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I found out that my cat, that I've had for 3 years, is actually my neighbor's missing cat. FML

#21212155
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44952) - you deserved it (5672)

On 07/17/2014 at 7:32pm - animals - by kittynapper - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML

#21211315
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37965) - you deserved it (4005)

On 07/16/2014 at 10:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, I was singing in the shower, not realising the window was open. When I got out, the neighbours were at the front door, loudly arguing with my mother. They were complaining about my awful singing. FML

#21207963
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36220) - you deserved it (6056)

On 07/13/2014 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML

#21207511
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40738) - you deserved it (13398)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

#21206318
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42331) - you deserved it (7869)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm - animals - by and god shat (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

#21204913
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45105) - you deserved it (7834)

On 07/10/2014 at 9:34am - love - by oh my fucking god (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: