dspadres

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dspadres

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 4 October 1984 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 42975
  • Number of comments : 213
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About dspadres : I'm a recent college grad. I majored in Theater Studies to become a playwright/screenwriter...so therefore I'm also unemployed.

dspadres's page activity

Visits<b>yellow33</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 9:29pm<b>ninety</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 11:18pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 6:10pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 6:42pm<b>youdumbstick</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 10:12am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 9:05am<b>Burberryhype</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 11:49pm<b>laxer98</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 5:11am<b>lizbill</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 9:56pm<b>aishah77</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 5:29pm<b>misjell94</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 4:26pm<b>tori3700</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 2:09am<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 3:31am<b>pandora_star</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 3:04am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 2:02am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 7:01pm<b>farmgirl_ih</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 11:36pm<b>DefiantGirl</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 6:47pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 3:05pm<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 9:31am

dspadres's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

dspadres's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML

by James4929 / 01/07/2010 at 7:25pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML

by pottypattypeepants / 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was working at a restaurant when my manager approached me and informed me that there was people having sex in the women's washroom, and he needed me to go in and ask them to cut it out. So I did. Five minutes later, a woman walks out with her disabled son and asks to talk to my manager. FML

by Janer88 / 11/30/2009 at 12:51am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

by hamster cookie / 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm / Kids

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

by badmom / 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML

by imfromtexas02 / 06/06/2009 at 10:03am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I was reading through a local wedding mag's advice page. A mother-in-law to be was writing about how to handle wanting her son to break off his engagement. I thought, "Wow. That must suck. I'm glad I like my mother-in-law to be." And then I saw her name. FML

by Anonymous / 06/04/2009 at 7:11am / United States / Love

Today, while the kid I was babysitting was in the bathroom, he called to me "I need some help in here." Worried I ran to the bathroom and asked him what was wrong. He needed me to wipe his butt. As if that weren't gross enough, just as my hand was under his butt, he pooped again and laughed. FML

by sdasdflkjas / 05/30/2009 at 12:24am / United States / Kids

Today, I was lighting fireworks for my cousin's birthday in my Grandmother's yard. When it came time to light the "Grand Finale", I read on the outside of the box,"Face this side toward crowd for best result". After I lit it, I realized that it was on it's side. I shot 100 fireworks at my family. FML

by Tyler_Padgett / 05/24/2009 at 7:52pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

by herve / 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Intimacy

Today, I brought some cupcakes to my class for my birthday, like all the cool kids do. When it came time to sing happy birthday, the entire class said "happy birthday to" then forgot my name. Except my teacher. She said Steve. My name's Jeff. FML

by theman / 05/21/2009 at 4:49pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

by a / 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, my dad told me about how my mother had a bad dream last night and began to scream "Don't take me, take my children!" FML

by lm / 05/20/2009 at 4:49pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

by Ohshit / 05/17/2009 at 2:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, a parent came into my class and told one of my 6 year old students that their grandma died. Then the parent left. The kid started crying from the news, which then got all the other students crying. I spent the rest of the day comforting a class of kids crying over someone else's grandma. FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2009 at 1:46pm / Canada (Yukon Territory) / Work