About droid1126 : Who's that classy looking fellow with the Toucan Sam beak in the back, you ask? That would be me, making the lovely lady in the foreground of the picture my beautiful girlfriend. If you're on Xbox, add About25Muslims so we can play together! I'll play damn near anything, but right now I'm mostly on Ark: Survival Evolved.
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droid1126's favorite FMLs
Today, my girlfriend of five months told me that she had booked us reservations to our town's Halloween barbecue party. When I reminded her that I'm vegan, she told me she specifically got the reservations to help me to quit my "stupid fad". Weird, I never knew being a devout Hindu was a fad. FML
by Cow lover / 10/12/2016 at 10:13am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, while working at a bank, I helped a customer who was making a large withdrawal. After I counted out his money, I asked "Do you want the strap on?" After a moment of awkward silence, as I realized how that came out, he smiled and said, "No thanks, I don't need one." and winked. Great. FML
by StarDust5921 / 10/03/2016 at 9:55pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I purpose woke up early so that I could be prepared for a class taught by a professor who thinks I'm an idiot. This professor was the first to tell me that I'm 2 hours early and asked very slowly if I know how schedules worked. She seriously sounded concerned. FML
by Ughhhhh / 10/03/2016 at 12:18pm / United States (California) / Work
by Rejected / 10/03/2016 at 12:00pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, I found out my father has been saving money to help me buy my first car. In the same conversation, I found out my mother, unbeknownst to my dad, used nearly all of the money to bail my drunken, deadbeat uncle out of jail for the 4th time a month ago. He is now back in prison. FML
by fox_at_heart / 09/29/2016 at 10:21pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
Today, I was excited to finally get an interview after being unemployed since getting out of the military nearly a year ago. Turns out, they weren't even interested in hiring me. They'd just never met a female Marine before. FML
by Female / 09/28/2016 at 11:26pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, my brat of a coworker tried to convince our boss that I should get paid half of what I'm making because I broke my right arm. I'm left handed, broke it on the job, and still doing a better job than her. She makes double what I do. FML
by BossesLittleBrat / 09/25/2016 at 8:47am / United States (North Dakota) / Work
Today, being a little stressed, I managed to lock my keys inside my car. I was taking this fairly calmly until, while waiting for roadside assistance, I overheard another woman in the same carpark say, "No, of course I didn't lock my keys in the car! I'm not a COMPLETE idiot." FML
by BadDay / 09/20/2016 at 1:04am / Australia (Queensland) / Transportation
by AlwaysTired / 09/14/2016 at 10:57am / United States / Transportation
by kmyltd / 09/14/2016 at 2:18am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, I went in the one-person bathroom at work to pee. Next thing I know, a woman forced the locked door open and walked in on me, because she didn't believe another person who said, "I think someone is in there." I'm reluctant to use that bathroom in the future. FML
by please knock / 09/13/2016 at 7:26pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, it's my birthday and I'd planned to take my family and friends to dinner with my own money. My mom just informed me that she'd messaged everyone that I'd canceled the dinner. She instead wants to use my money to buy my older brother a gun for his birthday, which is in two days. FML
by mckenna9797 / 09/07/2016 at 7:16am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my housemate and I had rough passionate sex in every room of the house. Being that I'm 18 and he's 32, it was a new thing for me. I just received a call from my mother stating that they would not be paying for the baby they watched us make through their wireless cams in our house. FML
by BabsZilla / 09/04/2016 at 8:21pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana Grace. My sister just revealed she is having a girl and naming her Hana Grace since "the name is up for grabs now". FML
by MadWorld / 08/28/2016 at 1:49pm / Miscellaneous
Today, after months of eating lunch with my best friend, going to Barnes and Noble, and having to poop while I was there, I realized I've trained myself to have to poop every single time I step into a Barnes and Noble. FML
by nes0385 / 08/27/2016 at 12:06pm / United States (Texas) / Health
- 1Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 2Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 3Today, I'm still reeling over the unexpected loss of my co-worker. I also received a notification…