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droid1126

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droid1126

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  • Number of visits : 299
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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droid1126's page activity

Visits<b>thisguy24f</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 4:14pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 1:42pm<b>diesel_power</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 11:18pm<b>hotbutthurttoast</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 1:44am<b>SuperWhoLockGirl</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 8:05pm<b>SmexyUnicorn</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 10:51pm<b>maxdragonxiii</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 8:40pm<b>kirrra</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 6:14pm<b>theinformer</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 5:45pm<b>mezochan</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 2:54pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 2:11pm<b>AlaskaGabrielle</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 7:47pm<b>epic_user79</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 1:25am<b>lolaroxie</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 7:52pm<b>alb6292</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 10:45pm<b>limabeanett</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 10:28pm<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 7:43pm<b>RenbewDesh</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 3:37pm

droid1126's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of droid1126's badges

droid1126's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

#21241016
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41899) - you deserved it (15814)

On 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38646) - you deserved it (8019) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45428) - you deserved it (5442)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I managed to not laugh as a potential high-profile Italian client with a heavy accent repeatedly pronounced "sheet metal" as "shit metal". Unfortunately, my boss and a senior colleague couldn't contain their own laughter. We lost that deal, and our jobs are now endangered. FML

#21227795
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37300) - you deserved it (4263)

On 08/02/2014 at 6:37pm - work - by Shitmetalseller (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

#21201617
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40948) - you deserved it (4034)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my roommate's pets conspired against me. "The dog ate my homework" has apparently become too clichéd for them. The new excuses are, "My cat chewed through my laptop power cable" and "the gecko ate my pen drive." FML

#21171341
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40616) - you deserved it (4417)

On 06/11/2014 at 8:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

#21169063
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50458) - you deserved it (10889)

On 06/10/2014 at 12:02am - love - by MiserableMan (man) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, I realized how bad my sex life is when I scratched a mosquito bite and almost had an orgasm. FML

#21168837
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45328) - you deserved it (8534)

On 06/09/2014 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was spinning some yarn around to make my new cat run in circles. After about 10 seconds, he stopped going in circles and went straight ahead, happily running several feet into the wall and knocking himself out. My bowel movements have more brain-power than this thing. FML

#21168476
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34852) - you deserved it (8486)

On 06/09/2014 at 5:45pm - animals - by jaqen h'garrrhghhgfgjhfuck (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I put my headphones on and laid down to relax to some music. I fell asleep, and woke up later to a police officer busting into my house. My neighbor had been knocking on my door, then looked through my window and saw me on my couch, and was convinced I'd died. FML

#21168349
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49282) - you deserved it (4819)

On 06/09/2014 at 3:37pm - misc - by I'm Not Dead Yet - United States (Arizona)

Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML

#21167190
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56330) - you deserved it (6795)

On 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by 404: sense not found (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

#21166563
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43093) - you deserved it (6106)

On 06/07/2014 at 10:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I took some heavy pain medication before calling my boyfriend. I don't remember the call, but apparently confessed to really liking corn, and faking orgasms. FML

#21165912
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42403) - you deserved it (12982)

On 06/07/2014 at 9:31am - intimacy - by Screwed (woman) - Australia

Today, I went to a fancy charity dinner. I'm a schmoozer, so I decided to introduce myself to someone important. I asked enthusiastically, "So, how are you involved with all of this madness?" He frowned at me. I then remembered that this particular charity assists people with mental issues. FML

#21164174
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21150) - you deserved it (37852)

On 06/05/2014 at 6:23pm - misc - by charitableidiot (man) - United States (Oregon)



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