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droid1126

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droid1126

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 266
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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droid1126's page activity

Visits<b>hotbutthurttoast</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 1:44am<b>SuperWhoLockGirl</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 8:05pm<b>SmexyUnicorn</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 10:51pm<b>maxdragonxiii</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 8:40pm<b>kirrra</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 6:14pm<b>theinformer</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 5:45pm<b>mezochan</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 2:54pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 2:11pm<b>AlaskaGabrielle</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 7:47pm<b>epic_user79</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 1:25am<b>lolaroxie</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 7:52pm<b>alb6292</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 10:45pm<b>limabeanett</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 10:28pm<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 7:43pm<b>RenbewDesh</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 3:37pm

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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droid1126's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

#21201617
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40797) - you deserved it (4029)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my roommate's pets conspired against me. "The dog ate my homework" has apparently become too clichéd for them. The new excuses are, "My cat chewed through my laptop power cable" and "the gecko ate my pen drive." FML

#21171341
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40379) - you deserved it (4398)

On 06/11/2014 at 8:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

#21169063
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50331) - you deserved it (10872)

On 06/10/2014 at 12:02am - love - by MiserableMan (man) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, I realized how bad my sex life is when I scratched a mosquito bite and almost had an orgasm. FML

#21168837
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44310) - you deserved it (8387)

On 06/09/2014 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was spinning some yarn around to make my new cat run in circles. After about 10 seconds, he stopped going in circles and went straight ahead, happily running several feet into the wall and knocking himself out. My bowel movements have more brain-power than this thing. FML

#21168476
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34803) - you deserved it (8481)

On 06/09/2014 at 5:45pm - animals - by jaqen h'garrrhghhgfgjhfuck (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I put my headphones on and laid down to relax to some music. I fell asleep, and woke up later to a police officer busting into my house. My neighbor had been knocking on my door, then looked through my window and saw me on my couch, and was convinced I'd died. FML

#21168349
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49229) - you deserved it (4814)

On 06/09/2014 at 3:37pm - misc - by I'm Not Dead Yet - United States (Arizona)

Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML

#21167190
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56269) - you deserved it (6790)

On 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by 404: sense not found (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

#21166563
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43051) - you deserved it (6103)

On 06/07/2014 at 10:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I took some heavy pain medication before calling my boyfriend. I don't remember the call, but apparently confessed to really liking corn, and faking orgasms. FML

#21165912
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41946) - you deserved it (12859)

On 06/07/2014 at 9:31am - intimacy - by Screwed (woman) - Australia

Today, I went to a fancy charity dinner. I'm a schmoozer, so I decided to introduce myself to someone important. I asked enthusiastically, "So, how are you involved with all of this madness?" He frowned at me. I then remembered that this particular charity assists people with mental issues. FML

#21164174
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21135) - you deserved it (37818)

On 06/05/2014 at 6:23pm - misc - by charitableidiot (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, an older gentleman came into my work for underwear. I helped him find his size, pulled out a pair of navy ones and he then turned to me and said, "I don't want dark colours because I can't tell if I've shit myself." He then continued looking for all the white pairs. FML

#21163612
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41149) - you deserved it (4313)

On 06/05/2014 at 4:11am - work - by unashamed - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I told someone about my degree in technical theatre with a concentration in lighting design. They looked at me and said, "You're paid $52,000 a year to turn lights on and off?" And technically, that's correct. FML

#21159630
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42643) - you deserved it (11167)

On 06/01/2014 at 6:15pm - work - by ugh - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML

#21158187
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42133) - you deserved it (3616)

On 05/31/2014 at 12:39pm - health - by half-dead in CA (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came down with diarrhea thanks to a particularly low-class restaurant. My dad has been making constant stupid puns like "pretty shitty state you're in" and "this day and age, you just don't expect this crap". I'm at the point where I want to gouge his eyes out with a goddamn spoon. FML

#21153372
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38822) - you deserved it (6851)

On 05/27/2014 at 1:04pm - health - by fuckmuppet (man) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, at work I had to explain to a client that male dogs can wear red collars and it doesn't make them "gay". The client then got angry and stormed out of the store, causing me to get written up. FML

#21153154
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41929) - you deserved it (4387)

On 05/27/2014 at 7:15am - animals - by Holyguacamoly (woman) - Iceland



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