About droid1126 : Who's that classy looking fellow with the Toucan Sam beak in the back, you ask? That would be me, making the lovely lady in the foreground of the picture my beautiful girlfriend. If you're on Xbox, add About25Muslims so we can play together! I'll play damn near anything, but right now I'm mostly on Ark: Survival Evolved.
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droid1126's favorite FMLs
Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both whispered, "Sorry." Our teacher promptly gave us detention and a 0% on the test for talking. Sorry for being sorry? FML
by Sorry? / 12/01/2016 at 10:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, a week after dropping my car off for the third time in a month at the dealership because of an unresolved issue, the dealership mistakenly reported the rental vehicle I'm using in the meantime as stolen. The police surrounded my work as I was meeting with a potential client. FML
by Wanaaa / 11/25/2016 at 2:08am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Kids
Today, I spoke with my boyfriend about where we want to live when I graduate. He says he doesn't know what he wants and his mother wouldn't approve of us living together. We've been together 3 years with the understanding we would live together once I graduated my Master's. FML
Today, I woke up and opened my curtains to see my gardener up a ladder in front of my window tending to the plants growing up the side of the wall. This would've been fine if his ballsack wasn't hanging out his shorts. FML
by dieders / 11/21/2016 at 1:34am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by tiredstudent / 11/18/2016 at 8:56am / Canada (Quebec) / Transportation
by I have Flashbacks Now / 11/10/2016 at 4:15pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was taking a break in my work truck when I saw a huge swarm of bees flying my way. I have a hand crank window so I started cranking it up as fast as I could and the knob snapped off before it closed and I got stung by the whole swarm before I could get out. FML
by Rekt / 11/10/2016 at 12:40am / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, I helped my hoarder grandfather clean out his garage. Not only did I step on a nail, I also slipped in a puddle of used oil that's been sitting out for two years, and broke my nose. He didn't pay me since I wasn't able to finish the job. FML
by megamonster99 / 11/07/2016 at 10:06am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by Fartini / 11/07/2016 at 1:47am / Intimacy
by Earl_KarmasBitch / 11/05/2016 at 9:02am / China (Yunnan) / Health
by isabellam0426 / 11/01/2016 at 10:55pm / Work
Today, while laying in bed with my girlfriend, I felt her grab my manhood through a layer of blankets. I got a bit stiff, just in time for her to clench tight, and pull violently. She didn't know "it" was in her hand, as she was trying to cover herself with the blanket. My manhood is now red and swollen. FML
by 2in longer / 11/01/2016 at 8:57am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy