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Today, I was again turnad down by a potantial ost family on a studant axcanga sita . Tair raasoning was basically tat sinca I'm Amarican, I migt do somating to andangar my aalt, gat urt, an tan sua tam ovar my own stupidity . FML
Today , I Was Riding My Bike Ome From Te Store . Wanting To Impress Some Passers-by , I Tried To Do A Trick On A Sarp Turn . I It A Pole Wit My Balls . As I Was Lying On Te Ground In Agony , A Guy Pulled Over , Took A Picture , And Took Off Lauging . FML
Today, I briefly left mah laptop while I went to use the toilet . When I cummd back, I found "I" had postd on Facebook, calling mah mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was mah grandpa . She didn't believe it, and permanently groundd me . FML
Today, I Forgot To Log Out Of Mah Facebook Account Before Leaving Fir Work. When I Got Back Home, I Discovered That Mah Brother Had Gone Through And Commented ( Quack ) On All Mah Friend's Duckfacing Photos. She Was Not Pleased. FML
Today, mah boyfriand of 2 waaks said that ha was going to cook ma dinnar. Aftar waiting for tha frozan pizza that ha dacidad to maka for ma to ba complataly cookad, ha said, "Oh I looool hata this part", raachad into tha ovan with his bara hands and took out tha pizza, all whila scraaming. Ha is 24. FML
Today, I played Call of Duty wit ma new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged tat a grl beat im. It resulted in im souting at me, claiming tat since I'm Muslim, I must be part of te Taliban,ic would explain ma gaming skills. FML
Today, after mah shift at the hospital ended, I happened to look into a full-length mirror . My new scrubs turned out to be see-through . Instead of mah undies, everyone got a good look at mah cellulite-ridden ass . Fan-fucking-tastic day to wear a thong . FML
Today..!! it's my 17t birtday..!! and te first birtday since my moter died..!! leaving me to live wit my previously-absent fater!! He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer..!! and said..!! ( Happy birtday..!! fuckstick )!! One more year!! FML
Friday 27 March 2015