driftlobster

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Offline (the 04/26/2016 at 6:22am)

driftlobster

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 24 May 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 760
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About driftlobster : The only truth in this world is that you can't have basketball without my man blake griffin and cp3 #clippers4life

driftlobster's page activity

Visits<b>kittykittyrun</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 7:54pm<b>JazzHandsFML</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 11:48am<b>GirlGamer12345</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 1:58am<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 1:59am<b>TaiReiSi</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 10:41pm<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 11:08pm<b>juliette3219</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 10:19pm<b>Amber_Naomy</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 10:53pm<b>TaylorWhiteGirl</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 9:18am<b>BexBaby86</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 10:23pm<b>dancinwookie</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 7:41pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 11:47am<b>RaeAnnAngelica</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 12:47am<b>daniellemshine</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 10:20pm<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 3:51am<b>Nikkiiiloveee</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 1:21pm<b>womanmoon</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 11:02am<b>aa1717</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 12:18pm

driftlobster's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of driftlobster's badges

driftlobster's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by canceling our relationship status on Facebook. I commented in disbelief, only for my dad to reply "#rekt", then "But seriously, about time. She's gonna give your balls back, right?" Thanks for the support. FML

by kumcat / 01/11/2015 at 12:57am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

by Zekrome / 05/05/2014 at 3:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML

by Anonymous / 04/30/2014 at 5:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my teacher told the class that we had better like the people at our table because we would all be working together for the final group assessment. Everyone looked at me, stood up, and moved. FML

by Anonymous / 08/13/2013 at 2:36am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful for such a nice compliment." FML

by PrettyScared / 07/29/2013 at 11:07am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, after more than six years of working my ass off, I finally summoned the courage to ask my boss for a raise. She just chuckled, "I'm gonna need you to eat a dick, John." and stared at me unblinking until I awkwardly left. FML

by no new apartment for me / 07/18/2013 at 3:53pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 6:34am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy

Today, as part of my job as a swimming instructor, I had to help a teenage boy learn how to float. This involves supporting the person's back as they try to float. His boner stood straight up. FML

by julia / 11/30/2012 at 8:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML

by Indianagirl94 / 10/29/2012 at 6:22pm / United States / Love

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

by cumhole / 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was entering a guy's number into my phone, and I couldn't remember his name. Embarrassed, I tried to be sneaky and asked, "Can you spell your name for me, please?" His name is Bob. FML

by Bernadette / 06/28/2012 at 3:58pm / Miscellaneous

Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML

by quirrus / 05/07/2012 at 5:42am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I decided to hit on a very attractive girl. I guess I was too drunk to remember it was my family reunion. FML

by Austin Franklin / 03/18/2012 at 7:41am / United States / Love

Today, it was my first day working as a nightclub bartender. All through the evening, a really creepy bloke stood in a dark corner and leered at the girls on the dance floor. When I took the bouncer to one side to let him know, he told me the man was a coat stand. FML

by Bob smith / 12/19/2011 at 3:57pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, my husband finally got round to cutting down a tree limb in our front yard after months of me begging him. It fell on me. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2011 at 7:51pm / United States / Health