Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

driftlobster

Offline (the 04/20/2014 at 5:24am) | Search for a member

driftlobster

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 24 May 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 142
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About driftlobster : The only truth in this world is that you can't have basketball without my man blake griffin and cp3 #clippers4life

driftlobster's page activity

Visits<b>Amber_Naomy</b> - 18 hours ago<b>TaylorWhiteGirl</b> - yesterday at 9:18am<b>TaiReiSi</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 8:03am<b>BexBaby86</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 10:23pm<b>dancinwookie</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 7:41pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 11:47am<b>RaeAnnAngelica</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 12:47am<b>daniellemshine</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 10:20pm<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 3:51am<b>Nikkiiiloveee</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 1:21pm<b>womanmoon</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 11:02am<b>aa1717</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 12:18pm<b>kitcat517</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 12:00pm<b>PoppyBear45</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 9:59pm<b>hxnnxh</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 6:50pm<b>chiefsmalls</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 11:06am<b>Guizmo90000</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 6:00am

driftlobster's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of driftlobster's badges

driftlobster's favorite FMLs

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46917) - you deserved it (17847)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML

#21127339
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39382) - you deserved it (4972)

On 04/30/2014 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my teacher told the class that we had better like the people at our table because we would all be working together for the final group assessment. Everyone looked at me, stood up, and moved. FML

#20834922
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44626) - you deserved it (7354)

On 08/13/2013 at 2:36am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful for such a nice compliment." FML

#20809554
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62217) - you deserved it (5407)

On 07/29/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by PrettyScared (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after more than six years of working my ass off, I finally summoned the courage to ask my boss for a raise. She just chuckled, "I'm gonna need you to eat a dick, John." and stared at me unblinking until I awkwardly left. FML

#20790691
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46281) - you deserved it (3778)

On 07/18/2013 at 3:53pm - work - by no new apartment for me (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

#20713183
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60707) - you deserved it (13783)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, as part of my job as a swimming instructor, I had to help a teenage boy learn how to float. This involves supporting the person's back as they try to float. His boner stood straight up. FML

#20185787
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36072) - you deserved it (3384)

On 11/30/2012 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by julia (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML

#20139029
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21997) - you deserved it (2773)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:22pm - misc - by Indianagirl94 (woman) - United States

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

#20109762
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16049) - you deserved it (60754)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was entering a guy's number into my phone, and I couldn't remember his name. Embarrassed, I tried to be sneaky and asked, "Can you spell your name for me, please?" His name is Bob. FML

#19861298
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8843) - you deserved it (25936) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/28/2012 at 3:58pm - misc - by Bernadette (woman) -

Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML

#19586096
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45992) - you deserved it (8841)

On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to hit on a very attractive girl. I guess I was too drunk to remember it was my family reunion. FML

#19299263
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7953) - you deserved it (41156)

On 03/18/2012 at 7:41am - love - by Austin Franklin - United States

Today, my husband finally got round to cutting down a tree limb in our front yard after months of me begging him. It fell on me. FML

#17056931
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22256) - you deserved it (14095)

On 07/10/2011 at 7:51pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my eight year old son is actually my nephew. FML

#16727755
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78970) - you deserved it (6507)

On 06/18/2011 at 11:34am - misc - by Ben - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear "it's not gonna suck itself." FML

#16541898
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45787) - you deserved it (11764)

On 06/07/2011 at 2:51am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: