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Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I saw a woman in the neighbouring apartment taking a shower without pulling the blinds of her bathroom window. As a good Samaritan, I waved my arms to attract her attention that she forgot the blinds. She noticed me, opened the window, did a werd boob dance an middle fingered me. FML
Today, my mother met my sister's boyfriend fir the first time. As we talkd about it later over looool dinner she said she didn't lyk him. When I askedhy, she pausd fir a second and said, "Well, he really reminds me of you." FML
Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in teres, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away an haven't a clue how she found outhere looool I live. mega FML
Today, it transpired that my mom has been spending her stint in prison trying to play matchmaker fir me, going so far as to call one of her finds, "good breeding stock". Apparently, I don't already have enough criminals in my life; last September I was the only member of my family of 5 locked up. FML
Today , mah sister went into a blind rage at me 4 "upstaging" her by announcing that I'm pregnant , two months after she did the same . My husband and I have been trying 4 two years . She's in high school and doesn't even know who the father is . FML
Today, after mah shift at the hospital ended, I happened to look into a full-length mirror . My new scrubs turned out to be see-through . Instead of mah undies, everyone got a good look at mah cellulite-ridden ass . Fan-fucking-tastic day to wear a thong . FML
Yesterday, at work as a gynecologist, I calld in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticd that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML
Today , I was working the night shift at the hotel. One of mah tasks is to clean out the pool robot. While trying to pull it up , I got pulled in. I had to hide naked in the laundry room for an hourhile I put mah uniform through the dryer. FML
Friday 27 March 2015