About drego5 : I gotta be me.
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelt my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4316) - you deserved it (30568)
On 08/08/2012 at 10:00am - misc - by FutureMarine3658 - United States (Utah)
Today, I discovered how pathetically introverted I am when during a car ride with my family, I said, "I really like this song" and my parents gasped because they didn't realize I was in the back seat. And I'm their only child. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18998) - you deserved it (1371)
On 08/06/2012 at 1:41am - misc - by mississippi123 - United States (California)
Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45450) - you deserved it (7535)
On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, I checked the app I had used during the night. It's supposed to record you while you sleep if you make any noise, and I had downloaded because my friends say I snore. The only noise it picked up was my parents having sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24642) - you deserved it (2214)
On 07/23/2012 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)
Today, I realised a second too late why trying to hack a popcorn kernel out from between your teeth with a steak knife is really a bad idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3723) - you deserved it (35129)
On 07/22/2012 at 6:45pm - misc - by fmyarse (man) - United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross)
Today, my sister and I had a huge fight because I flushed the toilet while she was taking a bath. The faucet for the bath was not running, but she insisted that she felt the water in the tub turn "scalding hot." She won't listen when I try to explain to her that it doesn't work like that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19476) - you deserved it (1153)
On 07/22/2012 at 2:54am - misc - by Raaaaage - United States (California)
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend. He won't go on a cruise with me in the gulf of Mexico, because he thinks we will crash into an iceberg like in Titanic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17806) - you deserved it (2348)
On 07/17/2012 at 5:11pm - love - by Alliente - United States
Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26397) - you deserved it (27691)
On 07/15/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by oops - United States
Today, I woke up naked, duck taped to the wall with no memory of last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7724) - you deserved it (21679)
On 07/14/2012 at 1:49am - misc - by tapeissticky591 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was fired for telling a customer's kid to shut his mouth. As revenge, I sent the CEO a picture I acquired months ago of my boss drunkenly pissing on a cow. He wrote that it was the funniest thing he had ever seen, and that I am "clearly an insufferable killjoy; a total liability to the company." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4721) - you deserved it (20027)
On 07/13/2012 at 8:48pm - work - by Alexander D. (man) - United States
Today, I'm still freshly circumcised. My penis is still very sensitive, and I can't squat to grab stuff off the floor because of the pressure against my jeans. Kicking the objects up into my hands was working well, that is until I spilled a pack of 300 toothpicks all over the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20748) - you deserved it (5888)
On 07/13/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I went to the grocery store with three bags full of sausages that I'd drunkenly bought the night before. Even though the manager remembered me, he wouldn't give me a refund, and now I'll be lucky if I can pay my rent this month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4185) - you deserved it (22219)
On 07/13/2012 at 4:13pm - misc - by minaaaaajftw (man) - Norway (Akershus)
Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20132) - you deserved it (2381)
On 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm - kids - by Marjorie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I asked my teenage daughter to read off directions from my iPhone while I drove. She went on Instagram instead. We missed the turn by 32 miles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20798) - you deserved it (4506)
On 07/12/2012 at 8:52pm - kids - by lostforlife - United States (Maine)
Today, I walked too close to a first-aid kit sticking out of a wall at work, and it cut my arm. Laughing at the irony, I opened it to get a band aid out. It was empty. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18419) - you deserved it (1591)
On 07/12/2012 at 2:28pm - work - by Ian Artis - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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