Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

drego5

Online | Search for a member

drego5

2Fucked!

drego5drego5
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6154
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About drego5 : I gotta be me.

drego5's page activity

Visits<b>ADDiva</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 2:26am<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 11:46pm<b>LauraAnn33</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 10:23pm<b>shaysilverchase</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 1:39pm<b>SPN_lover666</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 9:40am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 6:40am<b>ncbb5</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 7:29pm<b>Dolcetto</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 1:19am<b>leaswaim</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 5:49am<b>ironik69</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 11:57pm<b>Palindromesque</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 6:38pm<b>lishabear</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 12:38pm<b>shaysimonds</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 4:20pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 9:19pm<b>mt631</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 8:54pm<b>Kyle1dc</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 7:30pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 9:25am<b>blondie9</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 3:20am

Fucked!<b>LauraAnn33</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 4:23am<b>ironik69</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 5:57am

drego5's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of drego5's badges

drego5's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML

#21308641
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35884) - you deserved it (21167)

On 11/30/2014 at 8:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father for permission to take his daughter's hand in marriage. He asked me "Which one?" I said "Uh, the one I'm dating... Lisa." He belched and said, "Yeah sure, throw 'er off a cliff for all I care. Piss off, boy." So much for chivalry. FML

#21308242
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36628) - you deserved it (3527)

On 11/29/2014 at 4:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family. I watched as my uncle and his girlfriend snuck off to the bathroom together, where they stayed until someone else tried to get in. When they came out, she was wiping her mouth. I need new eyes. FML

#21306928
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40849) - you deserved it (3888)

On 11/27/2014 at 3:38pm - intimacy - by Trainer Calypso - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML

#21306254
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40130) - you deserved it (6514)

On 11/26/2014 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML

#21304429
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42869) - you deserved it (5339)

On 11/23/2014 at 11:34am - intimacy - by 404: fuck not given (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boss said he's worried about our network, because "Wifi's all in the air. People could spy on us from anywhere!" I sarcastically said "My god, you're right!" and suggested switching to tin-foil ethernet cables to stop the signal escaping. He told me to do it ASAP. This moron makes five times my salary. FML

#21302784
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35165) - you deserved it (4038)

On 11/20/2014 at 3:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML

#21296872
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53194) - you deserved it (6086)

On 11/11/2014 at 10:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

#21294899
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43770) - you deserved it (4018)

On 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm - kids - by jennabee97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I confronted my boyfriend after I found him cheating on me with my best friend. It ended up with me apologising for spying on him. FML

#21293948
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36756) - you deserved it (17798)

On 11/07/2014 at 7:28am - love - by Turnaround (woman) -

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43679) - you deserved it (13254)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML

#21286701
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28804) - you deserved it (37903)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:40pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML

#21286332
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53077) - you deserved it (4087)

On 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by subduedbeast - United States

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31824) - you deserved it (8298)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I confronted my girlfriend after catching her cheating on me. After she finished crying, she had the brass balls to say she'd understand if I needed a couple of weeks to forgive her, and asked me for bus fare so she could go tell the other guy they could only be friends now. FML

#21280490
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41371) - you deserved it (3643)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:44pm - love - by yee-whore (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my co-worker spent the afternoon taking online personality quizzes and messaging everyone the results. She was particularly proud of one which told her she was a hard-working overachiever. My boss walked by just as the message for that one popped up and I got in trouble for slacking off. FML

#21273209
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30836) - you deserved it (2771)

On 10/07/2014 at 11:15pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: