Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

drego5

Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member

drego5

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2762
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About drego5 : I gotta be me.

drego5's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 9:25am<b>blondie9</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 3:20am

drego5's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of drego5's badges

drego5's favorite FMLs

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

#18626435
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42133) - you deserved it (8105)

On 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by blegh (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my 10-year-old brother got the bright idea to urinate in my oven to cool it off. My whole house smells like burnt piss. FML

#18624102
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30985) - you deserved it (2782)

On 12/27/2011 at 10:53am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML

#18622040
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36714) - you deserved it (9345)

On 12/27/2011 at 2:11am - intimacy - by ikungfuyou (man) - United States

Today, I experienced the most intense pain I have ever had in my life. I was eating blueberries when my sister made a comment which sent me into hysterics. The force of having a bullet-like berry violently shoot out your nostril is more painful than it sounds. FML

#18617176
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25320) - you deserved it (3837)

On 12/26/2011 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

#18605439
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17078) - you deserved it (50242)

On 12/25/2011 at 6:39am - animals - by Anonymoose (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I started undressing in front of my boyfriend. He politely said, "Excuse me, please" because I was blocking the T.V. FML

#18579267
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28623) - you deserved it (7171)

On 12/22/2011 at 12:26pm - intimacy - by lalala - United Kingdom (Croydon)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I said something grammatically wrong during it. He chose to correct it. FML

#18568615
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18073) - you deserved it (27604)

On 12/21/2011 at 7:30am - intimacy - by Nicki (woman) - Canada

Today, while sleeping, my foot was stabbed by something in my bed and I woke up to it bleeding. I looked around for the cause and found nothing. Now I'm afraid to go to sleep because it might happen again. FML

#18550931
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29411) - you deserved it (2381)

On 12/19/2011 at 2:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break. He walked in on me cleaning all 19 of my sex toys. That's more than one sex toy per year that I've lived. I now have to face a 7-hour drive from Montreal to Toronto with him. FML

#18540985
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15331) - you deserved it (39297)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - intimacy - by Une Fille (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via the medium of free-style rapping. FML

#18535495
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31055) - you deserved it (4123)

On 12/17/2011 at 12:03pm - love - by Emily - United States (Indiana)

Today, the cute guy in my class asked if I wanted to come over to his house to "study" on Saturday for our finals. I went to his house expecting a good time. He actually wanted to study. FML

#18534413
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11275) - you deserved it (48419)

On 12/17/2011 at 8:30am - love - by SuperCoolGurl (woman) - Australia

Today, I found out the hard way what it sounds like when you take the first letter of my first name, A, and put it with my last name, Hole. FML

#18533442
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22664) - you deserved it (3309)

On 12/17/2011 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
175 comments

Today, I discovered that for the last six months my mother has been leaving my TV on FOX while I sleep, in the hope that my subconscious will absorb it and turn me into "a morally-upright human being". FML

#18529063
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27104) - you deserved it (4519)

On 12/16/2011 at 5:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I'd had it with my mom's addiction to weed, so I told her to choose between me or the weed. I'm currently looking on Craigslist for an apartment. FML

#18523921
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34265) - you deserved it (12255)

On 12/15/2011 at 10:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: