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drego5

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drego5
  • Town/Country : LI, NY, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2012
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About drego5 : I gotta be me.

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drego5's favorite FMLs

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46336) - you deserved it (7418)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

#18467751
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40309) - you deserved it (4928)

On 12/09/2011 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Aly (woman) - United States

Today, I got to say, "My best friend hooked up with my step-sister's grandma's aunt" and be correct. FML

#18465565
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22244) - you deserved it (1999)

On 12/09/2011 at 12:22am - love - by thatisnotcool45 - Canada

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

#18464488
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7345) - you deserved it (68927)

On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, after being yelled at by our boss because the office computer server has yet another virus, my co-worker and I did a bit of investigating. Apparently, the viruses aren't coming from client emails as we previously assumed. It seems that the problem is really our boss's porn addiction. FML

#18452728
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28886) - you deserved it (1969)

On 12/07/2011 at 1:43pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my family took me to a steak house. I went for an eight minute bathroom break, coming back to an empty table. They ordered dessert, and left me the bill. I'm a vegetarian, and it's my birthday. FML

#18446136
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30786) - you deserved it (3951)

On 12/06/2011 at 5:20pm - misc - by Weirdo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML

#18224618
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37241) - you deserved it (7524)

On 11/12/2011 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. The only way I could have gotten pregnant is from having gotten drunk and sleeping with my ex. We broke up because I didn't want children. FML

#18088166
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10485) - you deserved it (46999)

On 10/27/2011 at 11:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Shropshire)

Today, I was at work when I found an iPhone on the floor. I decided not to turn it into the manager and keep it. Five minutes later, a customer asked if anyone had turned in her missing phone. I said no and began to walk away, when her friend called her phone. It rang. She recognized the ringtone. FML

#18086269
514 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8983) - you deserved it (170539)

On 10/27/2011 at 1:01am - work - by charlie3289 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML

#18070582
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23569) - you deserved it (29052)

On 10/25/2011 at 6:15am - intimacy - by sad - Reserved

Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway. FML

#18069827
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27720) - you deserved it (2913)

On 10/25/2011 at 1:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I wouldn't be able to get any time off work to go to Mexico with him, and that we'd have to get our tickets refunded, and reschedule. He said not to bother, and that he already had someone else in mind to take with him. FML

#18055748
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25764) - you deserved it (4672)

On 10/23/2011 at 4:35pm - love - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML

#18051286
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39426) - you deserved it (18405)

On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada

Today, still suffering from an eye infection, I received a customer complaint. Having red eyes, asking how a patron's day went, and thanking them as they left my register obviously means that I must be stoned out of my mind. Apparently I've moved to a city where you must be on drugs if you're nice. FML

#18037491
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22528) - you deserved it (1958)

On 10/21/2011 at 8:10am - work - by Customer Stonage Representative - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After we finished, he went under the covers and started touching me. At first I thought he was trying to give me "oral pleasure". It turns out he lost the condom inside of me and was trying to fish it out before I noticed. FML



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