Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

drego5

Search for a member

drego5

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2416
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About drego5 : I gotta be me.

drego5's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 9:25am<b>blondie9</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 3:20am

drego5's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of drego5's badges

drego5's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

#19131405
406 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37978) - you deserved it (5606)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

#19131405
406 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37978) - you deserved it (5606)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I received more affection from my wife in a video game than I ever have in real life. FML

#19128091
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21232) - you deserved it (3841)

On 02/21/2012 at 12:01am - love - by bloodshedblack - United States (Colorado)

Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML

#19124149
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26148) - you deserved it (4047)

On 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by Gavin - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML

#19117009
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29154) - you deserved it (4624)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymoosey - Canada

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML

#19105085
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45465) - you deserved it (3894)

On 02/18/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by hatinthelife - United States (Utah)

Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML

#19059341
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36308) - you deserved it (2648)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm - kids - by amythest - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2 minutes long this time. He was right. It was 3 minutes. FML

#19045630
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29171) - you deserved it (4950)

On 02/11/2012 at 12:57am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML

#19042299
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8553) - you deserved it (65103)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:33pm - work - by great - United States

Today, I accidentally dropped a sculpture at college, and it broke. Some weirdo wearing a pink cape and a fake moustache bitched me out and told me not to be such an attention-seeking drama queen. FML

#19026244
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23557) - you deserved it (2976)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I showed off my new tattoo to my friends. Too bad it says "Walk Earless" now instead of "Walk Fearless." That's right, I'm now supporting Van Gogh. FML

#18997714
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12716) - you deserved it (26551)

On 02/05/2012 at 12:54am - misc - by inked - United States (Alabama)

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
216 comments

Today, after my credit card was stolen, the thief made donations to charitable associations. Now I feel bad for asking for the money back. FML

#18973351
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35018) - you deserved it (3407)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:35pm - money - by zobara - Switzerland

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

#18967800
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54931) - you deserved it (4223)

On 02/01/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my little sister is marrying my ex, and that my mother set them up. FML

#18959859
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40752) - you deserved it (2869)

On 01/31/2012 at 9:41am - love - by Random (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: