Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

drego5

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

drego5

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2911
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About drego5 : I gotta be me.

drego5's page activity

Visits<b>Kyle1dc</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 7:30pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 9:25am<b>blondie9</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 3:20am

drego5's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of drego5's badges

drego5's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught myself yelling at the girl in the porn I was watching for looking at the camera every other second. FML

#19187545
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9502) - you deserved it (32664)

On 02/29/2012 at 5:36am - intimacy - by areyouserious - United States

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

#19187510
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16920) - you deserved it (43978)

On 02/29/2012 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out my wife cheated on me with a guy from her work three times, two months before I proposed to her. She decided to tell me three months into our marriage. FML

#19177971
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31572) - you deserved it (2210)

On 02/27/2012 at 9:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

#19174199
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35039) - you deserved it (5314)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML

#19173596
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22880) - you deserved it (3275)

On 02/27/2012 at 7:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was having sex with my husband. We thought the house was empty so we didn't mind being loud. Apparently, my grandma thought it would be fun to give us a surprise visit. All I found was a note on the counter from her and the spare key saying "Next time, I'll call." FML

#19169657
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29598) - you deserved it (3992)

On 02/26/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by . - United States (California)

Today, I told my mom about an article I'd seen that said people tend to make the most mistakes at 2 to 3 in the morning. Without a trace of humor in her voice, she said, "Tell me about it. You were conceived round about then." FML

#19161830
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24967) - you deserved it (2839)

On 02/25/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by fmlsomuch - Japan

Today, I found the list my wife made of the things she was going to give up for Lent. The first one was "Sex with other men". FML

#19159712
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40012) - you deserved it (3067)

On 02/25/2012 at 9:35am - intimacy - by fmylifebigtime - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML

#19156948
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10364) - you deserved it (55100)

On 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML

#19154069
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9388) - you deserved it (32606)

On 02/24/2012 at 2:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I came back from a holiday and the friend who'd been looking after my cats returned my spare key. When I wanted to put some relaxing music on, I noticed that he'd switched most of my CDs around in their cases. I have over a thousand of them. Very funny, thanks. FML

#19148327
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21591) - you deserved it (4069)

On 02/23/2012 at 6:52pm - misc - by Veryfunny (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

#19146778
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13823) - you deserved it (32436)

On 02/23/2012 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

#19131405
406 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38122) - you deserved it (5625)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

#19131405
406 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38122) - you deserved it (5625)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I received more affection from my wife in a video game than I ever have in real life. FML

#19128091
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21310) - you deserved it (3846)

On 02/21/2012 at 12:01am - love - by bloodshedblack - United States (Colorado)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: