About drego5 : I gotta be me.
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drego5's favorite FMLs
Today, while at work, I witnessed a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said "yep... that just happened" and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML
by ihatewalmart / 06/29/2012 at 7:12pm / United States / Kids
by MeanMother / 06/28/2012 at 4:29pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids
Today, I stumbled across my ex's blog. Apparently, while dating me, he realized he was gay. Good to know the one guy I've dated, lost my virginity to, and fell in love with, was never truly attracted to me and was dating me just to be sure. FML
by FMlovelife / 06/28/2012 at 11:28am / United States / Love
by … / 06/28/2012 at 10:20am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I had an IUD put in two years ago that's supposed to prevent pregnancy. To put it in perspective, less than 1% of people using this IUD get pregnant. Lucky me. FML
by Anonymous / 06/27/2012 at 4:02pm / United States (Indiana) / Health
by RatCityChick / 06/27/2012 at 1:18pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by tammy / 06/27/2012 at 1:05am / United States (California) / Love
by Heather / 06/26/2012 at 1:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by Addison / 06/24/2012 at 8:28pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML
by Boar / 06/24/2012 at 4:51pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous
Today, a kid got his hand stuck inside my store's giant gumball machine. He started crying, and his negligent train-wreck of a mom bitched me out for being "unobservant." I'd been mopping up the mess she'd made after she spilled an open can of beer all over the floor. FML
by hannaslifesucks / 06/24/2012 at 2:41pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Work
Today, I found an empty parking space in a crowded parking lot. When I came back later, a lady and a cop were standing by my car. Her car used to be parked there and got stolen. They think I'm involved. FML
by Melinie / 06/23/2012 at 11:23pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML
by Anonymous / 06/20/2012 at 12:41pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by lisahb / 06/19/2012 at 6:16pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
- Today, while on a ride at a water park, someone stole my thongs. The ground is hot enough to burn… Today, While at a resort, my friends and I decided to go to the indoor pool. I was surprised when I… Today, I was complaining to a coworker about how my manager had changed my schedule without telling…