About drego5 : I gotta be me.
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, my mom accused me of stealing money from her purse. Being totally innocent, I reminded her that the only other person with access to it is her boyfriend. She said she trusts him because she loves him. They've been dating for 2 months. I've been her daughter for 25 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31521) - you deserved it (1402)
On 02/03/2013 at 7:26pm - money - by :/ (woman) - Netherlands (Gelderland)
Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41400) - you deserved it (2164)
On 02/02/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium
Today, thanks to our computer's browser history, I found out that my wife has been searching for local therapists who deal with cases of severe sex addiction. We've only had sex twice since we got married four months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27242) - you deserved it (2827)
On 01/31/2013 at 12:08pm - love - by papersofdivorce (man) - Peru (Lima)
Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29989) - you deserved it (1428)
On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my school's ski trip got canceled, because "All the snow makes the roads unsafe." We can't go skiing because it's snowing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30410) - you deserved it (2574)
On 01/25/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30710) - you deserved it (3979)
On 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm - health - by LagSwitchFTW (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25319) - you deserved it (3967)
On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico
Today, I found out the hard way that I'm severely allergic to latex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33413) - you deserved it (2725)
On 01/25/2013 at 1:11am - intimacy - by swollenpenis - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21109) - you deserved it (10739)
On 01/25/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by awkwardturtle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mother burst into tears and hysterics when she found out my fiancée and I were not "pure" for our upcoming wedding. I'm 28, she's 27, and we've lived together for four years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26387) - you deserved it (3934)
On 01/22/2013 at 3:09am - love - by deflower (man) - United States (California)
Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22391) - you deserved it (3265)
On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, when I asked my boss why my bonus was cut in half, he replied, "I have no idea what you really do." I'm the IT Manager. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23345) - you deserved it (1571)
On 01/18/2013 at 12:53am - money - by Anon - United States (Texas)
Today, a bull escaped from the small farm down the street. It ended up in my yard and would not let me outside. I called animal control, who said, "We only deal with regular animals." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25717) - you deserved it (1280)
On 01/17/2013 at 10:48pm - animals - by bull-stuff - United States (South Carolina)
Today, a four-year-old said a word that I didn't know the meaning of. I had to look up the definition. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12391) - you deserved it (28355)
On 01/17/2013 at 9:31pm - kids - by walkingdictionary - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24664) - you deserved it (10450)
On 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Monday 17 June 2013
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