About drego5 : I gotta be me.
drego5's FML badges
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
drego5's favorite FMLs
by dadoftheyear / 05/06/2015 at 11:27pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I kept hearing a child creepily giggling in my living room. I couldn't sleep and got so scared that I started considering hiring an exorcist. Long story short: be careful if you have Bluetooth speakers, because your dickhead neighbor might hack them and start fucking with you. FML
by Anonymous / 04/29/2015 at 1:42pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/28/2015 at 12:58pm / United Kingdom (Devon) / Intimacy
by RBergman / 04/25/2015 at 4:05pm / United States (Wyoming) / Love
Today, I came out as bisexual to my 17-year-old sister. She was quiet for a second, then told me she knows for sure I only have "girl parts". I had to explain to her the difference between being bi and being a hermaphrodite. FML
by Notthatone / 04/21/2015 at 7:00pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, I took my 5-year-old daughter to the play place at McDonalds but I had to keep her busy, instead of letting her play. A mom was teaching her 3-year-old daughter how to pole dance, using the play place's poles. FML
by Pandistoteles / 04/14/2015 at 5:17pm / United States / Kids
by blemarooney / 04/14/2015 at 11:49am / Ireland (Dublin) / Health
Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then heading back to his place and hooked up. Afterwards, I used the bathroom, and when I came out, he was going through his wallet and asked me how much he owed me. FML
by Anonymous / 04/11/2015 at 6:05pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/30/2015 at 6:30am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by soontobewidow / 03/28/2015 at 5:20am / Turkey (Istanbul) / Intimacy
Today, I found my dad's porn stash on his laptop. I went through it for a laugh to see what kind of sick, twisted shit he's into. Mostly nude pictures of my mum, as it turns out. I can't wipe the afterimage from my mind. FML
by Anonymous / 03/27/2015 at 4:28pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took the biggest, most excruciatingly painful crap of my life. It was so bad that I couldn't walk straight for a good 20 minutes afterwards. Long enough for my boyfriend to film me limping around and post the clip to Facebook with the caption "#anal ftw ;)". FML
by Anonymous / 03/22/2015 at 10:59am / United States / Love
by Fred / 03/19/2015 at 9:06pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/06/2015 at 10:22pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I met my biological parents for the first time, 29 years into my life. They turned out to be two of the most pathetic people I have ever met, and the meeting ended after they asked me to lend them money because I "literally owe them my life." FML
by LocallyBrewed / 02/26/2015 at 11:11pm / United States / Miscellaneous