About drego5 : I gotta be me.
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20687) - you deserved it (7339)
Today, I got a lecture about being lazy and not being active enough for my age, which ended with, "When I was your age, I was out every night having sex with anything that breathed." Thanks Gran. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18862) - you deserved it (2256)
On 06/06/2012 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by BrianTheLion89 - United States
Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10377) - you deserved it (31242)
On 06/06/2012 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Rob (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11016) - you deserved it (23296)
On 06/02/2012 at 6:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28874) - you deserved it (1847)
On 06/02/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by ironyisabitch - United States (California)
Today, I went to the hospital for stomach pains, and was told that it sounds like I have an ovarian cyst. My mom went into a rage, screaming that I'd lied to her about being a virgin. Despite the doctor explaining that sexual activity has nothing to do with it, she refuses to believe him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24552) - you deserved it (1035)
On 06/01/2012 at 5:05pm - health - by Briscuit (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22801) - you deserved it (2306) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm - love - by Monsieur-Madame (man) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)
Today, I had to get the manager of a grocery store to explain to his employee how coupons work. The employee had refused to accept the coupons I was using, for fear that, "they will be deducted from my paycheck." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15921) - you deserved it (1190)
On 05/29/2012 at 7:40am - money - by brunurb (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my parents think it's so hot outside that it's okay for them to work in the garden naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23374) - you deserved it (1481)
On 05/28/2012 at 6:15am - misc - by Ladieda (woman) - Netherlands (Gelderland)
Today, my boyfriend and I were acting out a kinky scenario at home, where we'd met in a club and were having a one night stand. We ended up getting into a real argument about an imaginary girl in the club. I didn't have sex and we haven't spoken since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7850) - you deserved it (20593)
On 05/27/2012 at 10:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I discovered that when my professor had said "For every A there will be an F," he was deadly serious. I earned a 94% mark, which in this class is known as a D. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18907) - you deserved it (1188)
On 05/26/2012 at 3:34pm - misc - by dany - United States (Ohio)
Today, I am on vacation in the Smoky Mountains with my parents. They just decided to take me to the place I was conceived seventeen years ago: a bench at a public park. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17935) - you deserved it (1371)
On 05/24/2012 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)
Today, I was in a café when a construction worker asked to borrow a pen. The only pen I had on me was my brand new Parker, which I reluctantly loaned him. As he was writing, he stopped to think, and happily chewed on the end of the pen, which he later returned to me, glistening in saliva. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15270) - you deserved it (3355)
On 05/21/2012 at 10:48pm - misc - by BowlofCherries (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my colleague yet again misused the word "literally." It's driving me insane. I have to work opposite him and hear him say things like he's just "literally shit himself inside out." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14476) - you deserved it (3346)
On 05/21/2012 at 10:11am - work - by Rebecca (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, it was my birthday, and I woke up to my dad telling me that we're going to Disneyland. Apparently, by "we" he meant him and my mom. They did, however, make a point to say "happy birthday" before they left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22857) - you deserved it (1164)
On 05/19/2012 at 10:04pm - misc - by Schubey (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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