Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

drego5

Offline (10 hours ago) | Search for a member

drego5

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3314
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About drego5 : I gotta be me.

drego5's page activity

Visits<b>Kyle1dc</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 7:30pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 9:25am<b>blondie9</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 3:20am

drego5's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of drego5's badges

drego5's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend tried to convince me that she didn't "technically" cheat on me, because the other guy came on her and not inside her. FML

#21320297
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23939) - you deserved it (1826)

On 12/19/2014 at 11:16am - love - by "technically" my ex-girlfriend - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, my boyfriend sent Christmas Carollers to my house to tell me he was breaking up with me. FML

Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML

#21315694
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33502) - you deserved it (4194)

On 12/11/2014 at 4:47pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my boyfriend uses a period tracker app to find out when we can fuck. FML

#21315592
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29225) - you deserved it (6067)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Anon - Ireland (Cork)

Today, my husband sent me a link to an article titled "5 ways you are unknowingly destroying your husband and killing your marriage." FML

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

#21315008
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32380) - you deserved it (3195)

On 12/10/2014 at 1:16pm - intimacy - by unlovedandunfucked (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while clearing stuff out of the basement, I found my ex-wife's old electronic diary device from the '90s. I found the charger, powered it up, and had soon read all about out she'd been cheating on me for almost half our marriage with the guy she's now married to. FML

#21313160
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36118) - you deserved it (2913)

On 12/07/2014 at 2:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Galway)

Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML

#21311570
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35041) - you deserved it (5344)

On 12/04/2014 at 6:46pm - kids - by aprouddaddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

#21311441
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40804) - you deserved it (2730)

On 12/04/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after two years, my girlfriend finally got over her intimacy and commitment problems, with a guy she met over the summer. FML

#21310086
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33029) - you deserved it (2693)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:59pm - love - by Summer Loving Happened So Fast - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42339) - you deserved it (10734)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML

#21308641
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30057) - you deserved it (17557)

On 11/30/2014 at 8:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father for permission to take his daughter's hand in marriage. He asked me "Which one?" I said "Uh, the one I'm dating... Lisa." He belched and said, "Yeah sure, throw 'er off a cliff for all I care. Piss off, boy." So much for chivalry. FML

#21308242
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33033) - you deserved it (2986)

On 11/29/2014 at 4:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family. I watched as my uncle and his girlfriend snuck off to the bathroom together, where they stayed until someone else tried to get in. When they came out, she was wiping her mouth. I need new eyes. FML

#21306928
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34868) - you deserved it (3025)

On 11/27/2014 at 3:38pm - intimacy - by Trainer Calypso - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML

#21306254
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33821) - you deserved it (5337)

On 11/26/2014 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: