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drcnes

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drcnes
  • Town/Country : phoenix, united states
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 March 1992 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 646
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About drcnes : im awesome >.>

drcnes's last visitors

Freezetalun

drcnes's FML badges

Beginner

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Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of drcnes's badges

drcnes's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that black people aren't all lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML

#14644616
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28199) - you deserved it (6217)

On 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to the waterpark and my kids were fighting so I grounded them both. We concluded the day by boogey boarding on a mechanical wave. There was so much water I didn't realize my boobs had completely fallen out of my bikini. As revenge, my kids didn't tell me. FML

#13823164
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18051) - you deserved it (13715)

On 11/13/2010 at 1:29am - misc - by sandyseashells10 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after weeks of thinking and playing every outcome possible in my head, I told my parents I'm gay. My dad nodded and didn't even look up from his book; my mom told me to go to the doctor if it starts to itch. FML

#13374619
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30976) - you deserved it (7875)

On 10/09/2010 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was making my bed which would normally be a simple task, until I leaned into the wooden foot of my bed, and put my entire body weight on my left nut. FML

#13364492
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19916) - you deserved it (9284)

On 10/08/2010 at 6:53am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

#13351667
415 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42290) - you deserved it (13768)

On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized that the best and most entertaining part of my 3 day mini vacation was realizing my nipples work on the touch screen of my iPhone. FML

#11628877
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26812) - you deserved it (9407)

On 07/03/2010 at 2:49am - misc - by thesadone - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend isn't gay. Apparently, I just give good head. FML

#7538814
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18966) - you deserved it (5777)

On 01/24/2010 at 3:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML

#7225857
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13339) - you deserved it (3814)

On 01/08/2010 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was playing FarmTown and got into a fight with a 14 year old boy. I threatened him with physical violence, and he reported me. I'm 23 years old and got banned from a virtual farming game for threatening children. FML

#5841852
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6173) - you deserved it (51654)

On 10/15/2009 at 1:04pm - kids - by hatelittleboys (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML

#5839452
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31625) - you deserved it (4411)

On 10/15/2009 at 3:07am - love - by Achoo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84221) - you deserved it (13912)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, the weird receptionist at the hotel I'm staying at asked me if I needed an extra blanket because I "looked cold in my sleep last night". FML

#5443972
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54865) - you deserved it (2086)

On 09/24/2009 at 5:50am - misc - by scaredtosleep (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I fell asleep in class. Usually, people just sit still when asleep. Nope, not me. Not only had I been violently rocking and nodding my head, the teacher stopped class for everyone to see for 5 minutes as she made jokes. What woke me? The intense laughter followed by embarrassment. FML

#5003582
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17915) - you deserved it (29247)

On 09/02/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by Math_Rocker (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML

#4636801
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54825) - you deserved it (10824)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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