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drayloon

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drayloon
  • Town/Country : Somewhere in Cali, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 August 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 822
  • Number of comments : 188
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About drayloon : I bet a nickel that you are reading this right now.

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drayloon's favorite FMLs

Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML

#19527875
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22843) - you deserved it (7433)

On 04/25/2012 at 4:06pm - kids - by KC (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my husband drew a penis on every one of my cigarettes. It's a new pack. FML

#19508691
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7004) - you deserved it (59362)

On 04/21/2012 at 11:15pm - misc - by Jenn P (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

#19486028
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35870) - you deserved it (3391)

On 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by lindsaykay - United States

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
582 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11631) - you deserved it (51483) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I went to my Christian accountability partner from church to talk about continuing to maintain Christian values. We had sex. Oh, the irony. FML

#19409993
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7722) - you deserved it (34284)

On 04/05/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Badchristian (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I dislocated my elbow chasing my cat around the hardwood floors of my house in knee-high socks and wiping out going around a corner. The doctors suggested that I not tell people how it happened. FML

#19362512
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9732) - you deserved it (16448)

On 03/28/2012 at 8:00am - health - by hikari_chan_xo - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML

#19291584
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33576) - you deserved it (2536)

On 03/17/2012 at 12:53am - misc - by Taylor Easley - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

#19289453
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18406) - you deserved it (10456)

On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

#19285131
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23295) - you deserved it (6312)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, on my way to work, I had to squeeze by a man sitting in a large truck parked next to my car. I was in a bit of a hurry and in my rush the collar of my shirt got caught on his grill. My shirt ripped and I flashed the guy my entire boob. FML

#19261756
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22396) - you deserved it (3652)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:28am - work - by titillating (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

#19249399
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20728) - you deserved it (17835)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)

Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML

#19059341
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30143) - you deserved it (1919)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm - kids - by amythest - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36937) - you deserved it (8388)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my sister set it so all the Yahoo articles I read are published on my Facebook wall. This would have been fine had I not decided to read, "Does the gynecologist care if you shave?" FML

#18957041
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21699) - you deserved it (4527)

On 01/30/2012 at 10:54pm - misc - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, I found out the girl I've been fooling around with for two weeks has a boyfriend, who is in jail, and is a member of the Aryan Brotherhood. FML

#18833133
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32186) - you deserved it (6395)

On 01/17/2012 at 6:57am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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