Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

drayloon

Offline (15 hours ago) | Search for a member

drayloon

13Liked!

drayloondrayloon
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 August 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5602
  • Number of comments : 275
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 9 posted

About drayloon : I bet a nickel that you are reading this right now.

drayloon's page activity

Visits<b>rylaii</b> - 6 hours ago<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 6:33pm<b>copperchinchilla</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 11:03pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 12:58am<b>pondhop</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 8:23pm<b>amandamathers</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 7:22pm<b>LH0026</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 6:10pm<b>iPixiee</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 6:05pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 5:50pm<b>Retaheki</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 4:35pm<b>VivaLaColdplay</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 4:11pm<b>flamingarrow59</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 4:10pm<b>DontRunForrest</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 3:59pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 3:44pm<b>akorpija</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 3:26pm<b>Johnnycake23</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 2:19pm<b>buckydargon</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 5:24am<b>noctali_Solstice</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 11:11am

Liked!<b>buckdharma</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 11:51pm<b>juststephhere</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 3:17am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 1:47pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 2:43pm<b>ClaireQ123</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 9:05pm<b>BakenWake420</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 4:37am<b>sheba72</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 6:34am<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 4:17pm<b>TheLiberalRiley</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 9:21pm<b>amandamathers</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 1:01pm<b>CRAZYCOW777</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 8:45pm<b>Falkin0113</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 6:46am<b>mysteryguy3039</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 3:35am

drayloon's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Tweet, tweet

You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we can understand why.

See all of drayloon's badges

drayloon's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML

#21074688
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40409) - you deserved it (9347)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:23am - animals - by lacy - United States (Kentucky)

Today, during class our teacher asked us, "Who is Uncle Sam?" A girl answered, "He's the guy who founded KFC, right?" I'm in an AP class and have to put up with these morons constantly. FML

#21071374
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42338) - you deserved it (4185)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML

#21068134
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50798) - you deserved it (9295)

On 02/22/2014 at 12:39am - intimacy - by awkward (man) - United States

Today, I found out what a lightweight my girlfriend is. After having a couple of drinks, she began flirting, then grabbed my ass. She felt around a bit before freaking out and asking where my penis was. FML

#21067583
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48518) - you deserved it (5614)

On 02/21/2014 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, I opened up a snapchat from my best friend. I received a full and detailed view of her and her boyfriend having sex. All I wanted to know was how her Valentine's Day dinner went. FML

#21060866
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50551) - you deserved it (8817)

On 02/14/2014 at 10:21pm - intimacy - by waymoreiwanted (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a guy called customer support, claiming his internet wasn't working. I asked for his customer details, and he gave his name as Mike Hunt. I recognized the old joke, called him an idiot, and hung up on him. It turned out that was his real name. I'm now on suspension. FML

#21060478
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26256) - you deserved it (32234)

On 02/14/2014 at 4:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML

#21058095
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39423) - you deserved it (5220)

On 02/12/2014 at 12:57pm - misc - by airhead2015 (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, at the bank where I work, I escorted a very short woman to her safe deposit box in the vault. I left her alone, knowing she could use the phone to call the reception when she was ready to leave. We later realised the phone was too high for her to reach. If glares could kill. FML

#21057082
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41496) - you deserved it (6689) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/11/2014 at 5:01am - work - by norina (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found my daughter's "sex songs" playlist. I was more disappointed by her poor taste in music than the fact that she is already sexually active. FML

#21056009
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41273) - you deserved it (7246)

On 02/10/2014 at 1:42am - kids - by aarong (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50979) - you deserved it (10015)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52558) - you deserved it (18574)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, after years of counseling and therapy for my anger issues, I snapped. Two words: Flappy Bird. FML

#21051812
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44543) - you deserved it (13319)

On 02/05/2014 at 10:39pm - misc - by tigerisabelle (woman) -

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML

#21051355
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42104) - you deserved it (21879)

On 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Evolution mama (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML

#21050725
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35943) - you deserved it (40448)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:48pm - health - by anonymous - United States



Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML
  • Hello everyone, how's it going? You doing OK? Friday is the right time to get your glad rags on, go out, meet your friends, have a drink, get your freak on, shoot the breeze, shoot some hoops, don't shoot…

Friday 30 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: