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drayloon

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drayloon

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 August 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2197
  • Number of comments : 211
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 8 posted

About drayloon : I bet a nickel that you are reading this right now.

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drayloon's FML badges

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drayloon's favorite FMLs

Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML

#21039460
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49193) - you deserved it (8384)

On 01/25/2014 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by sally - United States (Georgia)

Today, I'm a 34 year old male who just got given the sex talk on my Facebook timeline by my senile mother. 5ML

#21038727
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45683) - you deserved it (5010)

On 01/24/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was applying for jobs online when my father called. When I told him what I was doing, he said in all seriousness that I should just be a sugar baby. I said he must be joking, but he replied, "Honey, if I had your tits, I'd never work a day in my life." 5ML

#21037822
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41651) - you deserved it (4555)

On 01/24/2014 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, and for the past week, my dog started barking at my door when I start masturbating. I think my mom is starting to suspect. FML

#21037288
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43845) - you deserved it (9914)

On 01/23/2014 at 4:06pm - intimacy - by fappy dog - United States (Illinois)

Today, my students unanimously agreed, in front of me, that the only reason they take my course is to look at my ass. FML

#21028396
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56642) - you deserved it (13923)

On 01/15/2014 at 12:54am - intimacy - by jseid2 - United States (California)

Today, my grandpa took my face in both hands, kissed me on the lips, said "Now you can tell all your friends you've had your first kiss," and walked out of the room. FML

#21023495
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47640) - you deserved it (4510)

On 01/10/2014 at 11:47am - misc - by wtf - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48706) - you deserved it (6437)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52982) - you deserved it (2925)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was babysitting my barely-pubescent cousins, and they started talking about giving blowjobs to their "boyfriends". When I got mad at them and told them they shouldn't be thinking of that stuff, they said I was just pissed 'cause I haven't gotten laid. FML

#20984257
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48344) - you deserved it (4527)

On 12/07/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by bella - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex for us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML

#20978171
203 comments

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

#20967834
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59462) - you deserved it (4298)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, I decided to get over my lifelong fear of Michael Jackson. I went to have my photo taken with a statue of him. Little did I know, for Halloween week they replace the statues with real people. It jumped out at me; I'm never getting over this fear. FML

#20939955
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42343) - you deserved it (6607)

On 10/31/2013 at 4:41am - misc - by Shady_Soldier - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML

#20933461
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41055) - you deserved it (6550)

On 10/25/2013 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by NOKHAN (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mother kept nagging at me because my 9-month-old daughter only calms down when I play her metal. She demands I use gospel, otherwise she will turn into a "devil-worshipping lunatic like her mother". FML

#20915864
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41927) - you deserved it (4602)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:04pm - kids - by SlapAndTickle - United States



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