Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

drayloon

Online | Search for a member

drayloon

23Liked!

drayloondrayloon
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 August 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6554
  • Number of comments : 296
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 9 posted

About drayloon : I bet a nickel that you are reading this right now.

Message me if you want, I get bored lol

drayloon's page activity

Visits<b>sethr_di</b> - 7 hours ago<b>LeavenSilva</b> - 8 hours ago<b>brando1983</b> - 10 hours ago<b>MetalSonicCD</b> - 15 hours ago<b>roman11</b> - 15 hours ago<b>ragnarok357</b> - 16 hours ago<b>hellalegit</b> - 17 hours ago<b>BunchieRules</b> - 17 hours ago<b>Holybatman</b> - 17 hours ago<b>Nubbington1402</b> - 18 hours ago<b>whateverwillwork</b> - 19 hours ago<b>DreadedSamurai</b> - 21 hours ago<b>ClaireQ123</b> - 21 hours ago<b>Abbey1598</b> - yesterday at 6:41pm<b>ChristopherLP49</b> - yesterday at 6:27pm<b>moonchic</b> - yesterday at 5:43pm<b>Daevas</b> - yesterday at 5:37pm<b>mushroomcassette</b> - yesterday at 3:20pm

Liked!<b>emilyharveyyy</b> - 24 hours ago<b>jesuis_julie</b> - yesterday at 5:05pm<b>djuptspartan71</b> - yesterday at 1:32am<b>mwali02</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 3:21pm<b>Flaming_Pandas</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 12:48pm<b>Baka_Me</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 7:37am<b>Emmamazing</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 2:09am<b>rocketgurl</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 10:34pm<b>Kailayla</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 9:43am<b>briang959</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 1:02pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 11:51pm<b>juststephhere</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 3:17am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 1:47pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 2:43pm<b>ClaireQ123</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 9:05pm<b>BakenWake420</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 4:37am<b>sheba72</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 6:34am<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 4:17pm

drayloon's FML badges

Colonel_Whiskers

You liked our secret mascot. Well done, Sherlock!

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of drayloon's badges

drayloon's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

#21116666
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40512) - you deserved it (7972)

On 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML

#21114779
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55242) - you deserved it (5708)

On 04/16/2014 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by MILF (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my 12-year-old sister watched Frozen. She's spent the last two hours playing the song Let It Go on high volume over and over, and in different languages. I now have a skull-splitting headache, and my dad just sarcastically told me to "let it go". FML

#21113787
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46102) - you deserved it (5958)

On 04/15/2014 at 3:24pm - kids - by fuckyouharddad - United States (California)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52181) - you deserved it (4717)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that my boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that my body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matter what we're doing. FML

#21111720
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41262) - you deserved it (4064)

On 04/13/2014 at 5:33am - love - by Ticklish - United States (Iowa)

Today, my neighbor asked to come over and use my laptop. She showed up drunk, grabbed my boobs, and asked if I'd ever had a lesbian experience. We both have husbands and kids; the kids were in the room. FML

#21109873
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52473) - you deserved it (5214)

On 04/10/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by freakedout (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, after cleaning my house because I'd thrown a party all weekend while my parents were gone, I still got caught because somebody tried to make beer popsicles with Q-Tips in the ice trays in my freezer. FML

#21106348
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20155) - you deserved it (38432)

On 04/06/2014 at 11:03pm - misc - by trp007 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to my crush's house. We were watching a movie when suddenly he started kissing me. As it deepened he began to feel around. He was groping my armpit the whole time but I was too embarrassed that my underarm could pass for my boobs to redirect him. FML

#21104962
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44210) - you deserved it (7148)

On 04/05/2014 at 3:14am - intimacy - by armtits and big pits - United States (Florida)

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML

#21104650
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39514) - you deserved it (11863)

On 04/04/2014 at 7:20pm - love - by ohai ur hawt, wanna fuzzzZzZZzzZzz (man) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, my 14-year-old son's pathetic rebellion came to a head. He ran away from home, leaving a note saying he hates me and was leaving forever to be part of a gang his friends had formed. He came back an hour later crying. His whole gang had gotten mugged, which he somehow blamed me for. FML

#21102946
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49119) - you deserved it (6067)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:10pm - kids - by I Have Failed (man) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, my girlfriend and I were snuggling and we placed our hands together, palm to palm. I can bend the tips of my fingers over hers, which apparently surprised her because she commented, "Huh, so big hands AREN'T related to penis size." FML

#21101616
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53922) - you deserved it (6860)

On 04/01/2014 at 2:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

#21094789
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30346) - you deserved it (16217)

On 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm - misc - by chocochoco - United States (New York)

Today, my dad decided to shave his beard. I told him I wanted him to keep it, so he took the shavings, put them in a jar, and left it in my room. FML

#21093737
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35243) - you deserved it (12177)

On 03/22/2014 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dad took me to a bar for my first legal drink. He quickly got "drunk" and started slurring that I was an accident, saying the only reason I'm alive is because he'd been too poor to pay for an abortion. As I started crying, he burst out laughing and said soberly, "Just kidding, son." FML

#21092859
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45621) - you deserved it (5937)

On 03/21/2014 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML

#21091119
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38575) - you deserved it (5127)

On 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm - misc - by BigBlue (man) - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • FML's badges: pointless but essential!
  • If you're a regular on FML, it probably means that you're a member. Whatcha mean you're not a member? Right, for a start, run along and create yourself an account. Doing so will allow you to comment on…

Monday 23 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: