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drayloon

Offline (yesterday at 10:06pm) | Search for a member

drayloon

67Fucked!

drayloondrayloon
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 10 August 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12719
  • Number of comments : 344
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 11 posted

About drayloon : I bet a nickel that you are reading this right now.

Feel free to give me a fuck if you'd like...wait, I don't think that's what I meant...

drayloon's page activity

Visits<b>siyca</b> - 3 hours ago<b>silmisstar</b> - yesterday at 5:32pm<b>alexishbu</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 7:46am<b>bipolarednarwhal</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 2:19am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 3:18pm<b>coyotefox</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 2:01am<b>ThatLastKid</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 7:00pm<b>AndrewMoreira14</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 6:29pm<b>Lima_Bone</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 8:18am<b>bigbluetardis</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 7:35am<b>Coffee5555</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 6:56am<b>coops456</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 6:52am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 6:03am<b>fifi125</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 5:43am<b>soccer555</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 4:40am<b>MDoremis</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 4:34am<b>FMLollipop</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 10:37pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 3:56pm

Fucked!<b>silmisstar</b> - yesterday at 11:32pm<b>coyotefox</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 8:01am<b>AndrewMoreira14</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 12:29am<b>fifi125</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 11:45am<b>soccer555</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 10:40am<b>graceh1211</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 2:21pm<b>cheyjern</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 11:32pm<b>feven</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 12:19am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 10:47pm<b>crimson_roxy</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 10:47pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 9:47pm<b>JessicaLiz</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 8:33pm<b>HighlandShadows</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 12:14am<b>kerplunk95</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 8:36pm<b>IAm123</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 2:35am<b>mds9986</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 7:29am<b>latiavanay</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 12:36pm<b>HelenKeller1</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 3:06pm

drayloon's FML badges

I like things a lot, 20 times in fact

You have liked 20 FMLs and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs that you have liked. We like that.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of drayloon's badges

drayloon's favorite FMLs

Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm dad." FML

#21493785
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27745) - you deserved it (8729)

On 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the bowling alley. I have short, stubby fingers, and as I looked for a bowling ball that would fit my hand properly, an old man watched me searching, and approached asking, "Is that how you are with women? Fingering them, tossing them in the gutter, and looking for another?" FML

#21493255
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25532) - you deserved it (3285)

On 11/16/2015 at 4:47pm - intimacy - by weldingmachine217 (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I started to tell my step-dad about a funny video I came across online last night. He cut me off by saying "Yeah? Well I came across your mom's face last night!" then left for work with a shit-eating grin on his face. I could've gone the rest of my life without knowing that. FML

#21492366
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23760) - you deserved it (1892)

On 11/14/2015 at 6:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was having sex with someone I've been casually seeing. He got all weird during it, and said, "That's a good girl". Once he left, I told my housemates about it. Now every time I do something nice for them, they respond, "That's a good girl". FML

#21490607
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24380) - you deserved it (7156)

On 11/09/2015 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by bianca131 (woman) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend called. He said he would sing me a song, like I'd wanted for a long time. I was excited, but surprised at his song choice. He sang 'Locked Away' by R. City ft. Adam Levine. Turns out, he was calling me from jail. He thought this was romantic, and expected me to bail him out. FML

Today, my two moms were telling some fairly obscene jokes about their sex life. When I told them to stop making such vulgar jokes, they turned to me and said, "What makes you think we were joking?" They then clarified that they were in fact being completely serious. FML

Today, my brother's recent creepy behavior suddenly made sense when I found "How to seduce your sister?" in his browser search history. FML

#21483973
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32473) - you deserved it (1875)

On 10/24/2015 at 10:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I walked in on my best friend with his hand down my girlfriend's pants and her moaning for him to "keep going". She had the brass balls to claim she had a "tummy ache" and that he was just rubbing her stomach better. I may be a total dumbass, but I'm not THAT stupid. FML

#21483470
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35250) - you deserved it (2195)

On 10/23/2015 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, while on a walk during lunch, I urgently needed to pee. Not thinking I could make it back to the office, I slipped into some bushes to relieve myself. As I was going, I looked to the side and saw two coworkers staring back at me. They were having sex, and I'm there with my dick out. Awkward. FML

#21483245
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25545) - you deserved it (3565)

On 10/23/2015 at 12:05am - work - by Embarrassed ass. (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he doesn't know why I think deepthroating is so uncomfortable. To prove his point, he grabbed my dildo and effortlessly slid it down his throat. FML

#21479432
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31635) - you deserved it (5615)

On 10/13/2015 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while having lunch with my grandparents, my grandpa's eyes glazed over, his head fell and he slumped in his chair. I started panicking and almost cried, thinking he was dead. Then he laughed and said "Just kidding. I'm fine." FML

#21477928
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25333) - you deserved it (2493)

On 10/09/2015 at 2:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I walked in on my sister shoving her vibrating phone into her privates. Can't erase that image. FML

#21476750
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26983) - you deserved it (3172)

On 10/06/2015 at 7:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my little sister thought it would be funny to send my girlfriend a text saying I cheated on her and wanted to break up. Her response was "lol whatever I've been fucking Steve for like a month anyway". Steve is my brother, and he won't admit or deny it. FML

#21475264
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27660) - you deserved it (1953)

On 10/02/2015 at 6:22am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, for the first time this semester, I was able to get parking in time for my Wednesday class. The professor was sick and class was cancelled. FML

#21474597
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21077) - you deserved it (2015)

On 09/30/2015 at 1:16pm - work - by college parking sucks (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, for the first time this semester, I was able to get parking in time for my Wednesday class. The professor was sick and class was cancelled. FML

#21474597
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21077) - you deserved it (2015)

On 09/30/2015 at 1:16pm - work - by college parking sucks (man) - United States (Florida)



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