Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Online | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 10 August 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12692
  • Number of comments : 344
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 11 posted

About drayloon : I bet a nickel that you are reading this right now.

Feel free to give me a fuck if you'd like...wait, I don't think that's what I meant...

drayloon's page activity

Visits<b>silmisstar</b> - 20 minutes ago<b>alexishbu</b> - 10 hours ago<b>bipolarednarwhal</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 2:19am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 3:18pm<b>coyotefox</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 2:01am<b>ThatLastKid</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 7:00pm<b>AndrewMoreira14</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 6:29pm<b>Lima_Bone</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 8:18am<b>bigbluetardis</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 7:35am<b>Coffee5555</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 6:56am<b>coops456</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 6:52am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 6:03am<b>fifi125</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 5:43am<b>soccer555</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 4:40am<b>MDoremis</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 4:34am<b>FMLollipop</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 10:37pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 3:56pm<b>banished0blivion</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 3:15am

Fucked!<b>silmisstar</b> - just now<b>coyotefox</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 8:01am<b>AndrewMoreira14</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 12:29am<b>fifi125</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 11:45am<b>soccer555</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 10:40am<b>graceh1211</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 2:21pm<b>cheyjern</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 11:32pm<b>feven</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 12:19am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 10:47pm<b>crimson_roxy</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 10:47pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 9:47pm<b>JessicaLiz</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 8:33pm<b>HighlandShadows</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 12:14am<b>kerplunk95</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 8:36pm<b>IAm123</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 2:35am<b>mds9986</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 7:29am<b>latiavanay</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 12:36pm<b>HelenKeller1</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 3:06pm

drayloon's FML badges

I like things a lot, 20 times in fact

You have liked 20 FMLs and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs that you have liked. We like that.


You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of drayloon's badges

drayloon's favorite FMLs

Today, I was out with my brother and his group of very cute friends at a Cheesecake Factory. When the server came to take our orders, she asked me what kind of sauce I liked. Like a complete fuckwit, I blurted, "I like creamy white stuff." The guy across from me choked on his water. FML

Today, the guy I made out with on New Year's Eve finally called me. Too bad it was to blame me for the picture of us which someone had sent to his girlfriend. I never took a picture, and had no idea he was in a relationship. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20101) - you deserved it (1722)

On 01/10/2016 at 6:33pm - love - by CharlieKearney (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was chilling in my comfy zip-up sweatshirt when I realized I was running late for an acting class. In my mad panic, I forgot I didn't have a shirt or bra underneath. Later in class, I was performing a scene and started to unzip my sweatshirt. You can figure out the rest. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19477) - you deserved it (5022)

On 01/07/2016 at 9:08pm - misc - by AccidentalFlasher (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28393) - you deserved it (3302)

On 01/07/2016 at 7:00am - intimacy - by anne (woman) - Germany

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23250) - you deserved it (4803)

On 12/30/2015 at 10:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my 13-year-old sister cutting her pubic hair with scissors. After a long talk about what on earth she was doing, she confessed to doing it so her boyfriend could find her clitoris. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24599) - you deserved it (2278)

On 12/26/2015 at 12:40am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I walked in on the 13 year-old boy I babysit masturbating while sniffing my jacket. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24064) - you deserved it (2021)

On 12/22/2015 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend tells me she missed her period this month. I felt excited until she said, "I will let you know the results of the paternity test." I was not aware we needed a paternity test. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29018) - you deserved it (2402)

On 12/14/2015 at 2:29am - love - by Haitwun (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally received my first love letter. Too bad it was from the boy who lit me on fire two months ago. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20862) - you deserved it (1503)

On 12/09/2015 at 6:42pm - love - by PerturbedStudent (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to explain to my Romanian colleague that, no, a cat flap is not a euphemism for a vagina. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20391) - you deserved it (1719)

On 12/06/2015 at 8:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, at college, I walked in on some kid jerking off in front of the bathroom sink. This place never ceases to amaze and disgust me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21914) - you deserved it (1595)

On 12/04/2015 at 10:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my friend took me tandem skydiving. When it was time to jump, he began crying, said he'd cut our parachute cords, then said "Goodbye, cruel world!" and pushed me off the plane with him strapped to my back. I pissed myself and cried like a bitch. He thinks his "prank" was hilarious. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26244) - you deserved it (2689)

On 12/04/2015 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I grazed my hand over the bottom of my desk's keyboard tray, and found something sticky. I gagged when I realized it was jizz, and I immediately washed my hands and wiped everything. I then checked my browser history, which was full of porn. Thanks, roomie. FML

Today, I realized that the "toothpaste" that I'm always cleaning out with my hands from the sink drain is actually my little brother's semen. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28374) - you deserved it (2733)

On 11/29/2015 at 1:43pm - intimacy - by cole66 (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was washing my boobs in the shower when I caught my reflection in the mirror. I got super turned on at the sight of my large breasts all soaped up. I'm a man. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23840) - you deserved it (8855)

On 11/23/2015 at 9:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: