Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

drayloon

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

drayloon

37Fucked!

drayloondrayloon
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 August 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9677
  • Number of comments : 324
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 11 posted

About drayloon : I bet a nickel that you are reading this right now.

Message me if you want, I get bored lol

drayloon's page activity

Visits<b>karacakal2</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 8:47pm<b>Musicforlife29</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 12:22am<b>vampivy23</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 11:48pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 1:18pm<b>The_Shrimp52</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 12:43pm<b>Benmantha</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 11:20am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 6:49am<b>kimg0885</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 5:07am<b>Mortoli</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 4:54am<b>Jessica0928</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 3:30am<b>OysterPearls</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 4:21pm<b>jessal</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 12:04am<b>aukaylaheath</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 9:42pm<b>gunzerker</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 7:21pm<b>annabethjackson4</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 12:57am<b>mikki_arlert</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 4:24pm<b>pugpuggy</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 1:39pm<b>ea247</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 4:13pm

Fucked!<b>karacakal2</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 2:48am<b>annabethjackson4</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 6:57am<b>mikki_arlert</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 10:26pm<b>pugpuggy</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 7:39pm<b>Kazze</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 8:53pm<b>Luis_Gonzo_13</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 8:58pm<b>ECHOSPiiKES</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 12:04pm<b>404_UserNotFound</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 11:44pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 10:47pm<b>insanecutie</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 10:19pm<b>OysterPearls</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 6:03am<b>minecraftguy333</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 12:42am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 4:04am<b>andybub46</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 3:55pm<b>emilyharveyyy</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 7:34pm<b>jesuis_julie</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 5:05pm<b>djuptspartan71</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 1:32am<b>mwali02</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 3:21pm

drayloon's FML badges

I like things a lot, 20 times in fact

You have liked 20 FMLs and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs that you have liked. We like that.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of drayloon's badges

drayloon's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to endure the most mortifying ambulance ride of my life after my fiancé's cock ring got stuck on my tongue piercing. As I was trying not to choke or vomit, he actually high-fived one of the EMTs and tried to get him to take a picture on his phone. FML

#21424446
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29272) - you deserved it (8545)

On 06/11/2015 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by awkward - United Kingdom (Dumfries and Galloway)

Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML

#21423894
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35007) - you deserved it (6946)

On 06/10/2015 at 12:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, when leaving my apartment, I instantly noticed there was a giant dump truck in our lot, which turned out to be directly behind my car. After making a 20-point escape from my parking space and getting to work late, my roommate texts me "DUDE guess what I got last night". A giant dump truck. FML

#21420204
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24778) - you deserved it (1882)

On 06/03/2015 at 12:18pm - misc - by dump truck hater (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a real, erect penis for the first time. My brother's, while he was jerking off. He doesn't know I saw, because he was holding a pair of panties over his face with his other hand. I'm trying like hell to act like I'm not mentally scarred. FML

#21411971
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32181) - you deserved it (2968)

On 05/18/2015 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML

#21409928
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32600) - you deserved it (7081)

On 05/14/2015 at 8:42am - work - by HiddlePuff - Australia

Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML

#21409445
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31145) - you deserved it (2906)

On 05/13/2015 at 12:00pm - misc - by -_- (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom announced my pregnancy to the entire family via Facebook with the post, "Just went from a MILF to a GILF in one moment of unprotected sex." FML

#21401833
101 comments

Today, I had to arrest my own boyfriend for public sex. FML

#21399557
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38857) - you deserved it (2788)

On 04/25/2015 at 4:05pm - love - by RBergman - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML

#21399378
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31198) - you deserved it (2499)

On 04/25/2015 at 6:34am - love - by a critically injured shitehawk (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my parents, my aunt and her husband went out to dinner. There, my aunt told us that she was pregnant, and out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML

#21387788
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24904) - you deserved it (14709)

On 04/04/2015 at 11:06pm - kids - by TKPhai - United States (California)

Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML

#21379776
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30482) - you deserved it (2458)

On 03/22/2015 at 10:24pm - kids - by anon - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took the biggest, most excruciatingly painful crap of my life. It was so bad that I couldn't walk straight for a good 20 minutes afterwards. Long enough for my boyfriend to film me limping around and post the clip to Facebook with the caption "#anal ftw ;)". FML

#21379420
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29968) - you deserved it (3541)

On 03/22/2015 at 10:59am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was playing charades with my boyfriend and family. The answer was "Beckoning" so I acted it out with a "come here" gesture. He looked confused for a second, then blurted out "Fingering?" FML

#21378887
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28662) - you deserved it (3410)

On 03/21/2015 at 11:12am - misc - by ajodasdojsad (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

#21369938
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32653) - you deserved it (3046)

On 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by killme (woman) - United States (Colorado)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: