Search for a member

Offline (the 04/27/2016 at 10:52am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 August 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 13573
  • Number of comments : 353
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 12 posted

About drayloon : I bet a nickel that you are reading this right now.

Feel free to give me a fuck if you'd like...wait, I don't think that's what I meant...

drayloon's page activity

Visits<b>im_a_squid</b> - yesterday at 7:24pm<b>OysterPearls</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 3:15pm<b>epicx22</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 1:53pm<b>NoBothersForMe</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 2:56pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 3:40am<b>funkymonk3y</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 2:24am<b>CrAzYELF4</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 1:45pm<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 11:34pm<b>IchigoDeathGod</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 8:39am<b>serrentinoj</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 7:32am<b>Sansa_Kroma</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 2:50am<b>Poundit</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 12:35am<b>Nai_Wiley</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 11:17pm<b>shanewh40</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 2:48pm<b>Rainbowbish</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 1:31pm<b>lenardMcCravits</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 10:42am<b>Forgotten_Land</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 8:50am<b>Olivia_Higdon_</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 6:11am

Fucked!<b>shanewh40</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 8:48pm<b>Rainbowbish</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 7:31pm<b>YaoiTitan</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 7:03am<b>curlyhairedone</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 1:41am<b>gatorclay97</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 5:13pm<b>badbitch23</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 1:24am<b>eski2015</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 5:59am<b>Garcia2284</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 4:53am<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 7:13pm<b>yellow33</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 6:50pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 5:58am<b>UnluckyLatina</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 12:55am<b>silmisstar</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 11:32pm<b>coyotefox</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 8:01am<b>AndrewMoreira14</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 12:29am<b>fifi125</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 11:45am<b>soccer555</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 10:40am<b>graceh1211</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 2:21pm

drayloon's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

I like things a lot, 20 times in fact

You have liked 20 FMLs and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs that you have liked. We like that.


You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

See all of drayloon's badges

drayloon's favorite FMLs

Today, I overheard a coworker talking about going to what sounded like a dentist's appointment. As she left later, I jokingly said "Remember to open wide!" Turned out her appointment was with her OB/GYN, not a dentist. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2016 at 11:44am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, the mentally-challenged teen who sometimes comes into my restaurant gave me a hug as usual. I thought it was sweet, until a coworker let me know he immediately goes and jacks off in the bathroom after. FML

by sadfantasy / 03/31/2016 at 2:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my family and I were laying on my parents' bed watching a movie. My dad wrapped his arm around me and began rubbing my shoulder. That would have been fine, if it actually had been my shoulder and not my boob. Needless to say, we were both mortified. FML

by ScarredDaughter / 03/29/2016 at 1:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be funny to change my ringtone to some guy crooning "Thank heaven for little girls" and then call me during today's teacher-parent conference. FML

by no paedo / 03/11/2016 at 3:35pm / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Work

Today, while working as a hostess, one of my tattoos on my leg was showing. It's not uncommon for guests to comment on tattoos as we're high end and I'm one of two staff members with visible tattoos. What is uncommon is an elderly lady hiking up my skirt for a better view. I flashed everyone. FML

Today, I was so sleep deprived that while making instant oatmeal, I poured the oats into the garbage and put the empty packet in a bowl, then microwaved it for 2 minutes. FML

by Agamar / 02/23/2016 at 12:00am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML

by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I tutored a third grade girl after school. She was squirming so much I thought she had to go to the bathroom. Turns out, she was just masturbating on the corner of a school chair. FML

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with the guy I like. He couldn't get it up and awkwardly tried to stick his limp penis in. FML

by myusofwe / 02/05/2016 at 8:33pm / Puerto Rico / Intimacy

Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML

by Anonymous / 02/05/2016 at 4:55am / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, which he was happy about, until I told him in the interest of fair play he also had to let me fuck him with a strap on. It didn't take him very long to suddenly decide anal is disgusting, with all kinds of health risks. And he thinks he's the smart one. FML

by sandra / 02/04/2016 at 8:01pm / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML

by :x / 02/03/2016 at 10:40am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, at my job drug testing high schoolers, I see that one of the kids selected for the testing looked incredibly high. So, after he goes in the bathroom and gives me his cup with his urine inside, I take a closer look and see that the little shit jizzed in the cup. I hate my job. FML

by zachhewett / 02/02/2016 at 5:53pm / United States (Alabama) / Work

Today, my mailman refused to deliver my mail for an undetermined amount of time, because my 8 year-old, arthritic dog, who can barely walk, "made him feel threatened." FML

Today, I accidentally walked in on my sister shaving, naked. I don't know what's worse, the fact I've now seen her nude, or that she looks ten times better than any girl I've ever slept with. FML

by Anonymous / 01/31/2016 at 4:33am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous