About dragoongirl90 : I love Calvin and Hobbes because I grew up with them. I was the little blonde kid with the red and black horizontal-stripe t-shirt with the stuffed tiger (named Hobbes) and I was always catching weird bugs and I had a huge imagination. Calvin and Hobbes taught me that it's okay to have an imagination. They taught me it's okay to be both really smart and really dumb sometimes. They taught me what true friendship and loyalty was. They taught me how to have a zest for life, to love rainy days inside, and that nothing is so bad it can't get worse. They always cheer me up when I'm sad, and I really, truly love Calvon and Hobbes. I still have the stuffed tiger named Hobbes. I am a Gryffindor to the core. I am a passionate lover and the fiercest fighter you'll ever see. I will defend those I love to the death.
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dragoongirl90's favorite FMLs
by BenFiggy / 04/21/2016 at 9:28am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
Today, I overheard a coworker talking about going to what sounded like a dentist's appointment. As she left later, I jokingly said "Remember to open wide!" Turned out her appointment was with her OB/GYN, not a dentist. FML
by Anonymous / 04/12/2016 at 11:44am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to clean our apartment, and then we went out to grab a bite to eat. When we returned, I found a baby's sock in the middle of the floor. Neither of us have a baby, and nobody we know does either. Now I'm just waiting for the doll-themed nightmares tonight. FML
by Squeepy / 04/09/2016 at 11:45pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, in an attempt to be more healthy, I made myself a large fruit smoothie. I didn't think it could or would cause me to practically shart my rectum out my ass for the rest of the afternoon. The more you know. FML
by Anonymous / 03/25/2016 at 12:05pm / United States / Health
by Puddlepop / 03/01/2016 at 4:20am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/20/2016 at 9:19am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML
by lambeaster / 01/20/2016 at 9:27am / United States (District of Columbia) / Kids
Today, I almost died. My friends dragged me unconcious, hypothermic and half-drowned out of the sea. A helicopter took me to the hospital where they brought me back to life. My family's reaction? "You aren't dying so we don't have to come to the hospital." They wouldn't even bring me clothes. FML
by KereKris / 01/14/2016 at 7:11am / Netherlands / Miscellaneous
Today, I was out with my brother and his group of very cute friends at a Cheesecake Factory. When the server came to take our orders, she asked me what kind of sauce I liked. Like a complete fuckwit, I blurted, "I like creamy white stuff." The guy across from me choked on his water. FML
by Bex98 / 01/11/2016 at 3:17am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by achoo-plop / 11/29/2015 at 8:17pm / United States (Colorado) / Health
by CaraMaria / 11/24/2015 at 4:02am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML
by Anonymous / 11/21/2015 at 5:03am / United States (California) / Health
by why / 11/03/2015 at 8:13pm / United States / Money
Today, I woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my room. I investigated but found nothing. As I went back to my room, I heard a sort of giggling from inside. I was so scared, I grabbed my car keys, got the fuck out of there, and drove to my girlfriend's house in my pajamas. FML
by Anonymous / 10/28/2015 at 11:09am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my cousin got hired after six days of job-hunting. I graduated from university six months ago and haven't even scored a single interview; he's a deadbeat junkie who just got out of prison after doing time for armed robbery. FML
by / 10/24/2015 at 11:39pm / United States / Work