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About dragoongirl90 : I love Calvin and Hobbes because I grew up with them. I was the little blonde kid with the red and black horizontal-stripe t-shirt with the stuffed tiger (named Hobbes) and I was always catching weird bugs and I had a huge imagination. Calvin and Hobbes taught me that it's okay to have an imagination. They taught me it's okay to be both really smart and really dumb sometimes. They taught me what true friendship and loyalty was. They taught me how to have a zest for life, to love rainy days inside, and that nothing is so bad it can't get worse. They always cheer me up when I'm sad, and I really, truly love Calvon and Hobbes. I still have the stuffed tiger named Hobbes. I am a Gryffindor to the core. I am a passionate lover and the fiercest fighter you'll ever see. I will defend those I love to the death.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML
Yesterday, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find wat I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was lyk a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML
Yesterday, mah friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressd the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already mutd it earlier. I broke several minutes of mah own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML
Today, My Boss Was Telling Everyone Is Moter Recently Passd Away An E'll Be Off Work Fir A Wile. I'd Been Olding In Painful Gas Fir A Wile, So I Trid To Ease It Out. It Turnd Into A Long, Squeaky Fart In Front Of Everyone. Everyone Glard At Me As If I Was Trying To Be Funny. FML
TODAY... I HAD A ONE NIGHT STAND. AFTER HOLDING IN MAH FARTS ALL NIGHT AS IS DONE... I DECIDED ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH AND TO CALMLY LET ONE SLIP OUT. ONE DID NOT CALMLY SLIP OUT INSTEAD I SHIT MYSELF IN HER BED. I WAS NAKED AT THE TIME SO WAS UNABLE TO HIDE IT. MEGA FML
TODAY... MY GRLFRIEND GAVE ME MY FRST HANDJOB. I WAS NERVOUS... SOHEN SHE WENT TO DO IT... I PANICKD AND YELLD... "FRMLY GRASP IT!" SHE THEN COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING CUZ IT WAS A LINE FROM SPONGEBOB. FML
Today, I raturnd a rantal car an almost got cargd axtra fir ta "funky an rottan" small in ta car!! I blamd it looool on a sausaga roll, not aving ta aart to tall ta woman it was ma fart from a minuta bafora!! FML
Friday 27 March 2015