About dragon0000 : Well my name is Daphney u can call me Dragon hehe I love dragons and demons and anything dark and scary heheh I'm weird like that I guess. I'm a metal head gothic I never really sleep and I have alot of fml stories to tell ya bud hehe. And message me any time I like meeting new people :) I'm also a juggalo, MMFWCL
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Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23454) - you deserved it (2701)
On 08/05/2011 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by moonstone15 (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31585) - you deserved it (7551)
On 07/30/2011 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Texas)
Today, my three-year-old daughter rushed in, excited about her new baby brother or sister. She was so excited, I didn't have the heart to tell her men can't have babies, and I just have a beer gut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22143) - you deserved it (10528)
On 07/21/2011 at 7:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I took my 16 year-old daughter to get a bank account, taking her birth certificate with us as requested. When the teller wrote her name down on a piece of paper, my daughter said "How do you know my name?" The teller just looked at her and held up her birth certificate. I raised a nitwit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23967) - you deserved it (8598)
On 07/11/2011 at 5:25am - kids - by Mothering (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
I agree, your life sucks (30344) - you deserved it (3378)
On 07/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by Yoda (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, a business man in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45725) - you deserved it (2289)
On 07/07/2011 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7467) - you deserved it (82702)
On 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by kringr (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30889) - you deserved it (4374)
On 05/27/2011 at 6:09pm - kids - by diddlebuag - United States (Ohio)
Today, I got a boner in the MRI machine while my pelvic bone was being scanned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39899) - you deserved it (6909)
On 05/17/2011 at 6:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Finland (Southern Finland)
Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32081) - you deserved it (9439)
On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -
Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people would think I actually have a life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10439) - you deserved it (22024)
On 05/15/2011 at 2:49pm - misc - by NoLife (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to give his mother a box of chocolates and flowers for Mother's Day. She just stared at them and said, "What's this for? You're not my daughter, and never will be. But I'll keep the chocolate." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38665) - you deserved it (4407)
On 05/09/2011 at 12:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12484) - you deserved it (39614)
On 05/01/2011 at 8:21pm - animals - by Cassie -
Today, while being robbed, a man heroically chased down the robber and got my purse back. He then looked at the distance between us, turned the other way and ran off with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38544) - you deserved it (2564)
On 04/29/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my friend told me that her favourite aunt died last night of a heart attack. The first thing I could think of to say was, "Oh no, is she okay?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12723) - you deserved it (31729)
On 04/26/2011 at 3:11pm - misc - by Username - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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