Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

dractheripper

Online | Search for a member

dractheripper

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 May 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 215
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

dractheripper's page activity

Visits<b>KillSwitch96</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 12:05pm<b>urake</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 7:23am<b>sim88</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 3:57am<b>aba96</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 11:23pm<b>KrazieKleo</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 10:05pm<b>Finny05</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 4:02pm<b>Waspinator1998</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 3:45pm<b>Amanyyyyyy</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 2:05pm<b>chinaski7628</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 12:27pm<b>chylew</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 10:01am<b>origamidragon</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 9:41am<b>pprincesss_</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 7:00am<b>amphetamin3</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 5:19am<b>mikbrooke</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 6:25am

dractheripper's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of dractheripper's badges

dractheripper's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my biological parents for the first time, 29 years into my life. They turned out to be two of the most pathetic people I have ever met, and the meeting ended after they asked me to lend them money because I "literally owe them my life." FML

#21364287
159 comments

Today, my girlfriend wanted to roleplay as a schoolgirl. I was excited, until we started and she asked me to lick her "vajayjay". I cringed so hard, my skull practically caved in. I broke down laughing while trying to explain my cringing. Now she's pissed and I'm blue-balled. FML

#21355947
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28893) - you deserved it (9003)

On 02/14/2015 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, I got a text from my mom shaming me for forgetting my sister's birthday. It isn't her birthday today, it's mine. FML

#21355845
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35133) - you deserved it (1834)

On 02/14/2015 at 9:10am - misc - by secret - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her: "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home with no shopping. FML

#21352119
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43253) - you deserved it (2978)

On 02/08/2015 at 2:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I drove my dad to Walmart to do some shopping. His leg is still in a cast after an accident, so I helped him to the last mobility scooter. A guy whose only disability was clearly Fat-Fuck Syndrome then yelled at us, claiming he needed it more and that my dad was a faker. FML

#21343482
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33486) - you deserved it (2079)

On 01/24/2015 at 2:25pm - misc - by Elrond Hubbard (man) - United States

Today, it's been 3 months since my dog scratched my 9 year old granddaughter after she walked over and repeatedly kicked him. My daughter has disowned me and won't let me see my own grandchildren until I have my companion of 11 years "destroyed". FML

#21343453
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36441) - you deserved it (2306)

On 01/24/2015 at 1:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Giurgiu)

Today, my manager gave me hell for leaving the restaurant early yesterday. Guilty as charged, but only because I was rushed to the hospital after going into diabetic shock. This assmunch is convinced that I either faked it all to get off work early, or that I'd been eating our own stock. FML

#21343418
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29909) - you deserved it (1954)

On 01/24/2015 at 12:24pm - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I was walking with a female friend when suddenly, my ex-girlfriend comes running down the street and says, "So, you're cheating on me with this slut, huh?!" We've been separated for a decade now. FML

#21336664
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35930) - you deserved it (2540)

On 01/13/2015 at 10:05pm - love - by RipeFlame - United States (Florida)

Today, I found a hornet's nest in the backyard, so I called my brother over to take a look. He said "Hmm, wonder how fast you can run." then hurled a rock at the nest and sprinted back to the house. I wasn't so fast. I now feel like someone's beaten me half to death with a cactus. FML

#21323182
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32828) - you deserved it (3391)

On 12/24/2014 at 9:43am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML

#21322698
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37398) - you deserved it (3903)

On 12/23/2014 at 1:32pm - love - by both are dimwitted - United States (California)

Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as I was thanking him, he said, "You've never had a guy treat you right, have you?" I said no and started crying. FML

#21322290
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39210) - you deserved it (4361)

On 12/22/2014 at 8:28pm - love - by Soulara89 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to the lovely sounds of goats having escaped their pen and climbed onto the roof. Again. FML

Today, I broke a glass case containing my pet scorpions. I still can't find them. FML

#21312200
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27453) - you deserved it (13861)

On 12/05/2014 at 8:32pm - animals - by sting - United States (California)

Today, while I was on a field trip with my son, my husband decided to get rid of our dog without asking anyone. Now I get to pick up the pieces of a broken heart, and he thinks he did nothing wrong. FML

#21311410
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33806) - you deserved it (2716)

On 12/04/2014 at 1:30pm - animals - by yolonono (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I was walking home from work, I got chased halfway home by a wolf. Yes, a wolf. I live in central Norway. FML

#21288944
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34996) - you deserved it (2740)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:31am - animals - by noxiffic (man) - Norway (Rogaland)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: