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I’m your new creative director
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
2DAY WILE AT WORK.. . A CUSTOMER REFUSED TO SPEAK LOUDER.. . DESPITE ME ASKING ER TO DO IT SEVERAL TIMES . AS A RESULT.. . I TOOK ER ORDER INCORRECTLY . TE CUSTOMER TEN FINALLY DECIDED TO RAISE ER VOICE.. . BUT ONLY TO YELL AT ME ABOUT MA POOR LISTENING SKILLS . FML
Today, three of my dipshit coworkers kept whining all day about Zayne Malik leaving One Drection, how devastating it is, and what it means for their future . As a pacifist, I've never had to struggle so hard to beat the piss out of people and hurl their broken remains out a window . FML
Yesterday, I Had My 18th Birthday Party. At Midnight, Three Police Officers Showd Up At My Door And Askd If They Could Look Around. Were We Doing Anything Bad? Nope. My Friends Suck At Parking. Before They Left, The Officers Said That This Was The Most Tond Down Party They'd Seen In Yeres. FML
Yesterday, My Mom Got Drunk And Started Crying At My After-wedding Party, After Promising She'd Behave Herself. She Thinks My Husband Is An Awful Personho'll Drag Me Into A Life Of Sin, All Cuz He Has A Tattoo And An Ear Piercing. FML
Today I tried to surprise mah husband by wearing something sexy to bed. He didn't say anything just laughed and left the room fir 10 minutes. The little confidence I had disappeared so I changed feeling stupid fir thinking I could pull off sexy. He got mad at me fir bieng confusing. FML
Today, I took my son to the playground an watchd him have fun!! Minutes later, I was being shovd around an calld a pedophile cuz I was there alone with no wife!! By the time I convincd them I was innocent, my son was bawling!! FML
Today, I found out tat te reason I didn't get te job tat I ave been working ma butt off 4 over a year 4 is because tey can't fine anybodyo can do ma current job as good as me. I am too good to be promoted. fat FML
Today , at a big family dinnar , my dad said , "Pfff , gays don't hava it hard at all!! Tha things a guy has to do 4 sax with a girl? Crazy!! All a gay guy has to do 4 sax is bacoma an altar boy!" My husband's sida of tha family is vary raligious , an all hall quickly broka loosa!! big fat FML
Yesterday , during a meal out wit ma team and bosses , I wasn't drinking. Te waiter complained , "If your not ordering alcool , ow am I supposed to take advantage of u later?" I'm not sure wat's worse , te rapey pre-dinner joke or te awkward silence as ma colleagues looked on. FML
Friday 27 March 2015