Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

doumtabarnack

Search for a member

doumtabarnack

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 322
  • Number of comments : 118
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

doumtabarnack's page activity

Visits<b>wenbu</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 12:32pm<b>Make_Believe</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 5:08pm<b>imawesomeokay</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 3:32pm<b>Sports_guy3</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 3:32pm<b>Scathach</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 9:10pm<b>olpally</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 1:59pm<b>allie600</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 10:23pm

doumtabarnack's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of doumtabarnack's badges

doumtabarnack's favorite FMLs

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51442) - you deserved it (4281)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48207) - you deserved it (6822)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

#20523671
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42457) - you deserved it (5359)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML

#19586096
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45283) - you deserved it (8734)

On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States

Today, I had to bury my horse again because coyotes keep digging it up. FML

#19230527
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34638) - you deserved it (2534)

On 03/06/2012 at 11:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad got drunk and thought it would be a great idea to clean up the yard by dumping gasoline all over the leaves and lighting our entire front yard on fire. FML

#18334271
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22779) - you deserved it (1608)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by JWhite - United States (California)

Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML

#14961230
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41001) - you deserved it (8602)

On 02/13/2011 at 5:32pm - intimacy - by Katrina (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I need to find a way to explain to my 5, 7 and 12 year old kids their uncle wants to become their aunt. FML

#13773002
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45340) - you deserved it (8529)

On 11/09/2010 at 12:32am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML

#2729
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42909) - you deserved it (2051)

On 01/26/2009 at 7:02pm - health - by Noname - Japan (Fukuoka)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: