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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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doubleAbattery

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doubleAbattery
  • Town/Country : Boise, Idaho, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 16 September 1991 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 648
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About doubleAbattery : I'm just me. I've never tried to be anything or anyone else. And for anybody whose wondering where I got the username doubleAbattery, it's because my initials are AA and I didn't feel like being AlcoholicsAnonymous. Just a little background info. :)

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doubleAbattery's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

#6439149 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (57260) - you deserved it (8512)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML

#5168083 (214)

I agree, your life sucks (24207) - you deserved it (5213)

On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!!" FML

#4630669 (221)

I agree, your life sucks (74602) - you deserved it (4456)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML

#4029321 (215)

I agree, your life sucks (36255) - you deserved it (19554)

On 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm - money - by re2K5 (man) - Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto)

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

#2009053 (704)

I agree, your life sucks (120423) - you deserved it (28803)

On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing with my pet hamster and I decided to put it down my pants for fun. It started running around and I actually got aroused. My mom then walked into my room to see me with an erection and my pet hamster poking his head out of the hole in my boxers. FML

#878433 (735)

I agree, your life sucks (29249) - you deserved it (210134)

On 04/08/2009 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by hammylove (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

#837103 (577)

I agree, your life sucks (40697) - you deserved it (114315)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

#761206 (480)

I agree, your life sucks (167943) - you deserved it (51054)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML

#505547 (367)

I agree, your life sucks (268261) - you deserved it (24537)

On 03/21/2009 at 3:15am - intimacy - by jilted (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML

#56665 (528)

I agree, your life sucks (141680) - you deserved it (53027)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)