Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

dotar

Online | Search for a member

dotar

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 7 August 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2089
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About dotar : Hey there :3

dotar's page activity

Visits<b>Tbear11</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 6:53pm<b>jack_jill05</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 6:55pm<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 1:26pm<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 1:18pm<b>davotesolono</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 7:04pm<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 3:48pm<b>shudson186</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 10:58pm<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 1:25pm<b>TehAnderz</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 10:47pm<b>boostedc</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 6:17pm<b>gingalife8991</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 11:14pm<b>NiceGuysDoWin</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 7:19am<b>GuernseyGirl</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 6:24am<b>Earrings100</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 4:20pm<b>JamieLT</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 8:24pm<b>ArbitraryUser</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 6:25am<b>redraven88</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 7:20pm<b>LiiaaBee</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 7:07pm

dotar's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of dotar's badges

dotar's favorite FMLs

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35694) - you deserved it (5039)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML

#21230047
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24254) - you deserved it (50520)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:51pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, despite all of the empty seats on the bus, a man sat next to me. So close to me that our legs touched. After a few moments of silence, he got closer and whispered in my ear, "You're so quiet." FML

Today, I saw a cute guy and decided to say hi. As I started to think about things to talk about, one story in particular about a drummer who looked like Jesus stuck out in my mind. I was so nervous that instead of saying hi, I blurted out, "Some people look like Jesus!" and took off. FML

Today, my dad told me that I can't wear leggings on Friday nights, because, "your butt is too distracting for my poker buddies." FML

Today, I was singing while driving through the car park. I blacked out trying to hit a high note, and ended up bashing into another car. FML

#21063366
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22581) - you deserved it (39145)

On 02/17/2014 at 12:43pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

#21044971
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49719) - you deserved it (6231)

On 01/30/2014 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML

#21030923
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40068) - you deserved it (7704)

On 01/17/2014 at 3:56pm - health - by sausages (man) - Macedonia (Karpos)

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

#21029770
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51546) - you deserved it (11543)

On 01/16/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a sign he made in front of my Minecraft house. FML

#21000308
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44108) - you deserved it (5831)

On 12/21/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by back to creepers (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52966) - you deserved it (2926)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43230) - you deserved it (5249)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45045) - you deserved it (4769)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, my parents dropped by my new house, and my mother offered to tidy up for me while I was out. After they left, I noticed that her "tidying up" included throwing out all the pictures of my girlfriend and replacing them with pictures of herself. FML

#20921711
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46203) - you deserved it (4374)

On 10/15/2013 at 4:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: