well im tall. hallariouse. &pretty much random
Today, I was looking at my wedding pictures I had just ordered and I tried to flick something off one of the pictures, but it wouldn't come off. In a panic I quickly looked through all of my pictures and realized that I had a booger sticking out of my nose. No one told me. FML
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On 12/09/2009 at 4:06pm - love - by boogerbrain (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was going to ask my parents for advice on how to get my ex-girlfriend back. I overheard them talking about how glad they were that their plan to break us up worked so well. I don't think I should ask for advice anymore. FML
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On 12/08/2009 at 7:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I got a birthday present from my boyfriend's mom. It was ProActiv acne solution. He tried to make me feel better by explaining it's because she wants to be able to include me in family pictures. FML
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On 12/06/2009 at 5:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around when he accidently elbowed me in the eye and I couldn't see. He rolled over, turned on the football game, and told me to just walk upstairs and get ice. He also added that he would like a coke while I am up there. FML
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On 10/17/2009 at 12:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I discovered I was at the same restaurant as my ex and his new girlfriend. Quickly, I picked up my mother's phone when she wasn't looking, and began to pretend to talk to a fake new boyfriend. Few seconds later, the waiter loudly asked me if I was done talking into the calculator. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4794) - you totally deserved it (23040)
On 10/17/2009 at 12:25pm - love - by Ohgreat (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years decided to start an online blog about his life. He mentioned his cars, his friends and even his staff. I was never mentioned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14836) - you totally deserved it (2553)
On 10/15/2009 at 7:11am - love - by Forgotten One - Sent from a mobile version
Today, I was in bed sick from pneumonia. I asked my boyfriend to nuke a can of soup for me. He said "in a sec, let me finish this game" and continued to play his XBOX360 for an hour. Starving, I crawled out to make soup. When I sat down to eat, he paused the game and asked "you didn't make me any?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23640) - you totally deserved it (2766)
On 10/14/2009 at 9:00am - health - by tooflufoschool (woman) - United States (California)
Today, the man that has been stalking me for months finally stopped. When I went to the police station to tell them, they had me give them his number, I accidentaly called him, now he is stalking me again, asking why I called. FML
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On 10/03/2009 at 3:11am - misc - by Stalked (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I finally told my mom I am a lesbian. She started laughing and said 'Good one honey'. I told her I wasn't joking, and she took my face in her hands and said 'You ARE joking!' Then she left. FML
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On 08/12/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, a 'salesman' came to my door wanting to tell me about the iPhone 3G. I told him I didn't need to know about it because I had just bought the white iPhone 3G for myself. He asked if he could see it. So I held it up, not giving it to him. He grabbed it, ran, saying "thanks for the iPhone, bitch!" FML
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On 05/27/2009 at 4:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my best friend and I performed a rap to our whole school. The rap was "made up" by our friend. After the performance, a lot of friends asked me why I did a rap from Hannah Montana. Apparently the rap was off of a show for 8 year olds. We are 17 and people think we watch Hannah Montana. FML
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On 04/25/2009 at 10:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my friend and I wanted to get some alcohol (we're under 21). We went to a liquor store and asked a random guy to go in and buy us some vodka. After giving him $20, he said he had to go turn off his car, then he'd get us the drinks. He got in his car and drove off, with my $20. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5244) - you totally deserved it (103411)
On 04/23/2009 at 3:16am - misc - by danielle (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was walking towards the bus. The bus was scheduled to leave at 3:20, and it was 3:19 so I decided to run for it. As the doors were closing, I managed to just slip my hand into the door, so it didn't fully close. The bus driver saw this, looked at my face, and then proceeded to drive away. FML
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On 04/11/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was at the beach walking on the boardwalk without a shirt on. Two cute girls are walking my way and I decide to try and impress them by flexing my abs. While I flexed them, I accidentally let a fart out that everyone heard. Everybody, including the girls, laughed hysterically at me. FML
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On 04/07/2009 at 12:12pm - misc - by gotmon3y (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was sitting in class and I fell asleep during the lesson. I was wearing sweatpants and had an erection. My teacher came up to me and grabbed my penis. She thought it was my phone. FML
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On 02/27/2009 at 2:52pm - intimacy - by jgondi1 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
