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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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dorkii17

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dorkii17
  • Town/Country : columbus, united states
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 7 July 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 715
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About dorkii17 : Heyy I'm Jesse!! =)

dorkii17's last visitors

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dorkii17's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML

#17749622 (297)

I agree, your life sucks (23749) - you deserved it (3924)

On 09/15/2011 at 3:34am - health - by Scott - United States (California)

Today, my house got broken into. Thankfully they didn't steal anything. They did, however, move things around into strange places and mess up my underwear. I have severe OCD, so this is probably worse than if they had taken everything. FML

#17549982 (152)

I agree, your life sucks (19086) - you deserved it (2571)

On 08/22/2011 at 6:10pm - misc - by WTFwhywouldyoudothat - United Kingdom (Rotherham)

Today, I finally went to my boyfriend's house to meet his family. When they were giving me a tour of the house, I noticed a Nazi flag on my boyfriend's bedroom door. FML

#17427726 (26)

I agree, your life sucks (28059) - you deserved it (3100)

On 08/10/2011 at 9:11am - misc - by MaydayManic - United States

Today, I sneezed so violently that my tampon came out. FML

#17227905 (431)

I agree, your life sucks (49200) - you deserved it (5135)

On 07/23/2011 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Sarah - United States

Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my shoulder. I turned around only to see a woman behind me pulling the sunburnt skin off my shoulder. When I told her to stop, she yelled, hit me with her purse and ran off crying. FML

#17188929 (289)

I agree, your life sucks (34401) - you deserved it (2467)

On 07/20/2011 at 9:38am - misc - by therundown - United States (Ohio)

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

#17182524 (257)

I agree, your life sucks (25702) - you deserved it (5105)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by gntfmlingnow - United States (Ohio)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML

#17131113 (282)

I agree, your life sucks (27006) - you deserved it (3911)

On 07/16/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

#17115448 (509)

I agree, your life sucks (42546) - you deserved it (6492)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

#17109043 (441)

I agree, your life sucks (20464) - you deserved it (59910)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739 (473)

I agree, your life sucks (22426) - you deserved it (2241)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML

#17080358 (270)

I agree, your life sucks (12684) - you deserved it (6666)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:09pm - misc - by couldntholdit (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took my 16 year-old daughter to get a bank account, taking her birth certificate with us as requested. When the teller wrote her name down on a piece of paper, my daughter said "How do you know my name?" The teller just looked at her and held up her birth certificate. I raised a nitwit. FML

#17063705 (204)

I agree, your life sucks (9626) - you deserved it (3527)

On 07/11/2011 at 5:25am - kids - by Mothering (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047 (1012)

I agree, your life sucks (404631) - you deserved it (241693)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML

#346119 (88)

I agree, your life sucks (91698) - you deserved it (11084)

On 03/15/2009 at 4:47pm - intimacy - by MarMar (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was sitting in math class when I glanced over to the other side of the room and the hottest girl in the school is over there. I could see her thong so I instantly got a boner. About a minute later my teacher calls me up to the board to do a problem. I wore basketball shorts that day. FML

#333787 (211)

I agree, your life sucks (64557) - you deserved it (31832)

On 03/15/2009 at 12:45am - intimacy - by 12incher (man) - United States (Georgia)