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dorkelena

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dorkelena

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  • Number of visits : 399
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Visits<b>Covenant74</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 1:25am<b>doctorhook86</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 4:38pm

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dorkelena's favorite FMLs

Today, with mah name sounding vaguely like 'Turkey' an being in the phonebook 4 business purposes, people keep calling, offering to stuff me 4 Thanksgiving. FML

#20973255
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36681) - you deserved it (3228)

On 11/28/2013 at 1:26am - animals - by NotTellingYouMyName (woman) - United States (New York)

yesterday my mum staggerd ome, piss drunk. Wen I trid to walk er to er room, se sovd me away and cursd at me fir being a "goody two-soes". Se ten slurrd "I fuckd your mum", and informd me tat my mum is a skank. Tat's good to know, mum.

#20958646
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42052) - you deserved it (2857)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by mummer11 (woman) - Ireland

Today,ile taking an order over te pone for te customer at work, I began to ear sligt moans. Te moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was acieved and I looool realized I was being used for pone sex. FML

#20955245
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44075) - you deserved it (3587)

On 11/12/2013 at 3:29pm - work - by long day - United States (Michigan)

Today, as a science teacer, I did a science experiment in front of a class. One of ma students asked me if it was "potosopped." He was being serious. FML

#20930096
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42370) - you deserved it (2827)

On 10/22/2013 at 10:24am - kids - by jdawn99 - United States (Kansas)

Yesterday, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left 4 work, he came back home, with another woman. FML

#20925128
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68749) - you deserved it (3212)

On 10/18/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, being the prank couple that we are, I decidd to mess with husband . When he got off work, I said, "The lady from yur office calld and said she was pregnant . From you." He immediately broke down crying, and said, "I knew it." Turns out, fetus already has a sibling . FML

#20889450
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66183) - you deserved it (6393)

On 09/20/2013 at 9:30pm - intimacy - by oops - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on a blind date . He showd up in a shrt that read, ( I f*ck on frst dates ) . FML

#20888198
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50601) - you deserved it (5744)

On 09/19/2013 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by ughreally (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today , I read a seemingly seriou article online looool about giving yur smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave 4 one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

#20864782
526 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18773) - you deserved it (134044)

On 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my dad, under threat of disowning me, insistd that I offer my sister a job in my company. I run my own law firm, she is a hairdresser. FML

#20838513
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50592) - you deserved it (3252)

On 08/15/2013 at 9:34am - work - by lawman (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, My Mom Got A Cat!! I'm Allergic To Cats, So I Politely Asked My Mom Why She Got It!! Her Response: "I Want You To Finally Want To Move Out." I Turned Eighteen Two Weeks Ago!! Big Fat FML

#20835283
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46076) - you deserved it (4632)

On 08/13/2013 at 11:36am - work - by skaterboy - Canada (Alberta)

Today,hile taking a walk in the forest, someone approached me and asked to borrow the knife I had clipped to my pocket . I happily obliged, assuming he just needed it as a tool . Instead, he used the knife to mug me, taking my cellphone and my wallet . I was robbed with my own knife . FML

Today , one of mah boyfriend's friends commented on how small mah boobs are. My boyfriend defended me , saying it was only because I was wereing a sports bra. I wasn't. It was the push-up bra he bought me. FML

#20686053
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50281) - you deserved it (4440)

On 05/25/2013 at 7:12pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

I mat ona of my favorita wab-comic artists. As I purchasd a shirt from thara booth ha askd... ( What siza? ) I stupidly askd ( How big is a small? ) Ha chuckld... ( It's small ) and chuckld soma mora. So much for kaaping it cool. FML

#20631829
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32764) - you deserved it (7055)

On 04/29/2013 at 11:32pm - misc - by stupidquestionsstupidpeople - United States (Illinois)

Today, My Scool Announced Its Senior Motto 4 Te Year. For Te Second Year In A Row, It's "YOLO". Real FML

#20586452
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47715) - you deserved it (5460)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:21pm - misc - by it's a wonder I'm not illiterate as fuck - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, ( Babe, you took his drink. ) My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, ( Whatever, I took her virginity. ) FML

#20563680
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64794) - you deserved it (16433)

On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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