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I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, yep, pubic hair is still flammable. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9301) - you deserved it (39395)
On 07/25/2011 at 11:12am - health - by Smokey9 - United States (Florida)
Today, I fell down some steps, and my dad laughed at me. He then changed his facebook status to "My kid's an idiot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23294) - you deserved it (4946)
On 02/15/2011 at 9:32pm - misc - by Ihavealisp (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I got a ticket for vandalizing public property. I decided to draw a cat on the street outside my house in sidewalk chalk. I'm 20, and I have to explain to my parents why I'm playing with chalk instead of studying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11189) - you deserved it (16001)
On 02/15/2011 at 2:03pm - animals - by AliRocks (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29016) - you deserved it (3245)
On 02/14/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)
Today, I arranged to have some flowers delivered at work for Valentine's Day so that my colleagues will think someone likes me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19552) - you deserved it (14507)
On 02/14/2011 at 12:34am - love - by alone (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I got a parking ticket in the mail. I don't have a car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27470) - you deserved it (2109)
On 02/14/2011 at 12:20am - misc - by Roxas (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11917) - you deserved it (45384)
On 02/13/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by RyanM - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (121996) - you deserved it (29422)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went out on a first date with a cute guy. Turns out we won't be going on a date again because I didn't know the difference between "Star Wars" and "Star Trek." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23277) - you deserved it (44673)
On 05/15/2009 at 5:17pm - love - by not4geeks (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my 6 year old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop 'pretending to be daddy' against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25128) - you deserved it (30917)
On 05/14/2009 at 8:03pm - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (76983) - you deserved it (3457)
On 05/12/2009 at 1:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28955) - you deserved it (94676)
On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, my good friend who just had a baby girl sent her newborn's pictures to me via picture message. To reply, instead of writing "Awwwwww" I wrote "Ewwwwww" by mistake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20204) - you deserved it (47364)
On 04/08/2009 at 4:42pm - kids - by nothing (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I asked her if she could put some sunscreen on my back. Thinking it would be funny, she used the lotion to write "I Love Little Boys". I work as a children's swimming instructor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52917) - you deserved it (4128)
On 04/08/2009 at 12:03am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (140170) - you deserved it (19179)
On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)
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