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doo_f
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 733
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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doo_f's favorite FMLs

Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML

#14921394
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9698) - you deserved it (31995)

On 02/10/2011 at 11:09am - misc - by Jaws (man) - France (Alsace)

Today, while in my doctor's packed waiting room, an elderly woman insisted I take her seat. I thanked her, but politely declined. She began to yell, saying I was "ungrateful", until I sat down. She then left, laughing, as I discovered that she peed in the chair. Apparently, she does this often. FML

Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was "I farted". Well, at least they all laughed. FML

#14211006
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26636) - you deserved it (7630)

On 12/15/2010 at 6:57am - work - by Mike -

Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML

#14147287
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45011) - you deserved it (2946)

On 12/09/2010 at 9:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my parents told me about how they met. I'd already known they were eight years apart, but I never knew my dad started dating my mom when he was 21 and she was 13. FML

#13561698
349 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47716) - you deserved it (3385)

On 10/23/2010 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to jump between the train doors to make it in on time. And missed. FML

#13391537
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9735) - you deserved it (21645)

On 10/10/2010 at 11:16am - misc - by Icey_dan1 - Sent from mobile version

Today, a crying kid was brought to my attention by a customer. He was so upset from losing his mom that he couldn't say his name or his moms name. I took him around the store asking him to point out his mom. Once we found her she told me "I was hiding from my kid to test his independence." FML

#13107358
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28304) - you deserved it (1686)

On 09/19/2010 at 12:27am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after a few months of my neighbors friend parking outside his house and honking until he came outside, I happened to be out doing lawn work. I politely screamed "STOP HONKING YOUR F***ING HORN!" To which they responded by moving in front of MY house and holding down their horn. I hate people. FML

#12930514
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30653) - you deserved it (14579)

On 09/06/2010 at 6:45am - misc - by Myself - United States

Today, my boyfriend got scared of a fly, freaked out, and accidentally punched me in the face. FML

#12926482
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24186) - you deserved it (3437)

On 09/06/2010 at 12:25am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Dakota)

Today, was parent appreciation day at my daughter's KG class. On the stage, each child was asked to define each parent in one word. When it was my daughter's turn, she looked at me hard, thinking. Finally, in the end she said, "My daddy is very fat." Everybody stared. FML

#10717478
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23020) - you deserved it (6879)

On 05/23/2010 at 7:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up with a headache. My girlfriend said it might be from the night before, explaining she punched me while I was sleeping because I was snoring in her ear, and she dreamed a bee was attacking her. I'm not sure if I'm more concerned that she punched me, or that it didn't wake me. FML

#8758514
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19174) - you deserved it (2342)

On 03/01/2010 at 9:24pm - love - by pizzafaceinc (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was awakened, in the middle of the night, by the sound of crying coming from outside. There's a mile in between houses where I live. FML

#8546580
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26117) - you deserved it (2038)

On 02/22/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by holycow (man) - United States (California)

Today, after my first flight landed late, I burned out my lungs sprinting full speed for 10 minutes to catch my next flight. The gate number on my ticket was wrong. It had been changed to one right next to where I had originally pulled up to. FML

#8501700
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22916) - you deserved it (3036)

On 02/21/2010 at 12:47am - misc - by mad flyer - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out my cousin - who suffers from bipolar disorder - shot herself in the chest and has only a 20 percent chance of living. I told my boyfriend, while crying, and he held me for a few minutes. As soon as I got quiet, he pulled out his iPhone and started playing a shooter game. FML

#8364770
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34475) - you deserved it (3487)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:30am - love - by lynn (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. No one picked up. FML

#7542505
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56927) - you deserved it (5661)

On 01/24/2010 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



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