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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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dontcare804

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dontcare804
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4421
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

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Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608 (464)

I agree, your life sucks (30241) - you deserved it (98473)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I drove 150 miles to see one of my favorite singers in concert. Before I got out of the car I checked to make sure I had the tickets. Did I have the tickets? Yes. Were they for today's concert? Nope. FML

#2237527 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (13071) - you deserved it (39231)

On 05/24/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by duhitskelly94 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to a chinese restaurant with my asian girlfriend. When she went into the bathroom I practiced saying "Can we have sex" in chinese which is where she is from. After saying it a few times out loud, a waiter walked by and stared at me. When he gave me the check he included his number. FML

#2189119 (246)

I agree, your life sucks (16703) - you deserved it (48637)

On 05/22/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, on the way to work, I pulled over at a postbox to post a letter. I walked up to the box with the letter in one hand, car key in the other. Guess which one I posted. FML

#2050004 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (31675) - you deserved it (18440)

On 05/18/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by Posty (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was showing my new iPhone case to my friends, saying how it was scratchproof, shockproof, and waterproof. I demonstrated it by dropping it on the sidewalk from about 5 feet. It bounced onto the road. Apparently, its not truck-proof. FML

#2018927 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (9104) - you deserved it (69679)

On 05/17/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw a couple of beetles doing it. Jealous, I quickly crushed them with my boot while screaming, "IF I CAN'T DO IT, NOBODY WILL!" All the little kids playing on the local playground, including parents supervising them, gave me dirty, confused looks. FML

#1683543 (544)

I agree, your life sucks (15376) - you deserved it (83284)

On 05/06/2009 at 2:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was running late for work. To save time, I grabbed my belt on my way out the door and was putting it on in the elevator, which stopped at the next floor before I had put my belt all the way on. A hot girl stepped into the elevator, looked at my undone belt, screamed "Ew" and got off. FML

#1679798 (51)

I agree, your life sucks (30533) - you deserved it (7207)

On 05/05/2009 at 10:40pm - misc - by soldier (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I walked outside to get the newspaper and slipped on the icy driveway. Because I was wearing boxers and a robe, my legs got all scraped up. After much cursing, I got the paper and went inside. The headline read "Caution: Icy Conditions". FML

#1665462 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (38695) - you deserved it (6252)

On 05/05/2009 at 4:39pm - misc - by qwerty (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I didn't have any money to buy a tampon from the dispenser at my school but my hands are small enough so I can just slide them up and grab one. My hand got stuck in the dispenser and my school had to call the fire department. Now everyone calls me tampon girl. FML

#1493911 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (23360) - you deserved it (47661)

On 04/30/2009 at 3:56pm - misc - by obeezy (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my friend was pulled over and told to get out of the car. The officer motioned for me to get out of the car too so I reached behind me to get my shoes. He then pointed his gun at my face and frantically asked my friend if I had a gun. My friend calmly replied "No, but shoot him anyway." FML

#1054666 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (55822) - you deserved it (6071)

On 04/17/2009 at 1:02pm - misc - by Daniel_rules (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to re-take an hour long MRI scan because I got an erection midway through. FML

#1051780 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (57985) - you deserved it (11871)

On 04/17/2009 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my friend and I were seeing a movie. We ended up sitting next to a man who was continually laughing, clapping, and bouncing up and down on his seat. Extremely annoyed, we turned to him and told him to "shut the fuck up". Turns out he had downs syndrome and ran out of the theater crying. FML

#1010714 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (17529) - you deserved it (89592)

On 04/16/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by katem (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to a guy I met online and have known for 4 years. I've fallen in love with him twice, one of those times being currently. He was supposed to visit this summer. I got an email from him saying he's really a 17 year old girl from Chesterfield, MO. FML

#966789 (363)

I agree, your life sucks (24233) - you deserved it (67950)

On 04/14/2009 at 9:45am - love - by oxbbabexo (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got 20% tints on my car. As I'm driving home, a cop pulls me over. I didn't want to ruin my new tint by opening my window, so I opened my door as the cop approached. He then pulled out his gun and yelled "GET ON THE FUCKING GROUND!" before I could explain. FML

#952639 (241)

I agree, your life sucks (31959) - you deserved it (40168)

On 04/13/2009 at 3:41pm - misc - by italy1986 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I told my ex boyfriend I lost 20 lbs because of the stress of the break up. His response was "you're welcome." FML

#889567 (211)

I agree, your life sucks (41934) - you deserved it (18605)

On 04/09/2009 at 6:11pm - misc - by blutownie13 - United States