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donkeyscommand

Offline (the 09/20/2014 at 12:02pm) | Search for a member

donkeyscommand

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 8 October 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1665
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About donkeyscommand : I'm one of the thousands who found out this site through Shane Dawson. FML

donkeyscommand's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:49pm<b>chrissybabe</b> - the 04/26/2010 at 10:09pm

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donkeyscommand's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49091) - you deserved it (21223)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted me to get him some take out. He responded with, "I think we should see other people. Uh, chicken please." FML

#21227320
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42970) - you deserved it (3649)

On 08/02/2014 at 1:35am - love - by bertiebeth - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

#21227114
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43275) - you deserved it (7018)

On 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by WickedRene (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to explain to my father why it isn't a good idea to shove a metal knife into the toaster when trying to get at a small piece of toast. This man is 45-years-old and has a PhD. FML

Today, I spent my afternoon rummaging through old jeans and other pants, due to being broke and needing cash for ramen. FML

#21226442
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34886) - you deserved it (4367)

On 08/01/2014 at 1:33am - money - by baconistasty27 - United States (California)

Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML

#21225778
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38667) - you deserved it (6704)

On 07/31/2014 at 12:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, a new session started for my swimming squad. I walked down to the pool, tripped over a stray equipment bag, and belly-flopped into the pool in front of everyone, fully clothed. I'm the coach. FML

#21225439
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39180) - you deserved it (4346)

On 07/31/2014 at 1:00am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house, intending to break up with him. Instead, I was greeted by his whole family throwing me a surprise party. I had to sit and listen to his whole family talk about what a great couple we are and how we're going to last forever. FML

#21215195
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52857) - you deserved it (8148)

On 07/20/2014 at 1:59pm - love - by I Feel Horrible - United States (California)

Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML

#21214404
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50404) - you deserved it (6780)

On 07/19/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by Death By Parent (woman) - United States

Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML

#21212869
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66852) - you deserved it (4885)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm - love - by someonepleasehelpme (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a customer write "fuck you" in the tip option area on his credit card slip, I have no idea why. FML

#21212818
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35951) - you deserved it (4662)

On 07/18/2014 at 11:49am - work - by tuck87 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my cat, that I've had for 3 years, is actually my neighbor's missing cat. FML

#21212155
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48024) - you deserved it (6172)

On 07/17/2014 at 7:32pm - animals - by kittynapper - United States (Colorado)

Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML

Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games until I realized she was actually into this. FML

#21209385
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47436) - you deserved it (5291)

On 07/14/2014 at 11:25pm - intimacy - by thedoc (man) - United States (Texas)



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