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donkeyscommand

Offline (the 07/25/2014 at 1:31am) | Search for a member

donkeyscommand

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 8 October 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1576
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About donkeyscommand : I'm one of the thousands who found out this site through Shane Dawson. FML

donkeyscommand's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:49pm<b>chrissybabe</b> - the 04/26/2010 at 10:09pm

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donkeyscommand's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house, intending to break up with him. Instead, I was greeted by his whole family throwing me a surprise party. I had to sit and listen to his whole family talk about what a great couple we are and how we're going to last forever. FML

#21215195
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50499) - you deserved it (7998)

On 07/20/2014 at 1:59pm - love - by I Feel Horrible - United States (California)

Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML

#21214404
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48717) - you deserved it (6696)

On 07/19/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by Death By Parent (woman) - United States

Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML

#21212869
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63269) - you deserved it (4827)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm - love - by someonepleasehelpme (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a customer write "fuck you" in the tip option area on his credit card slip, I have no idea why. FML

#21212818
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35320) - you deserved it (4634)

On 07/18/2014 at 11:49am - work - by tuck87 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my cat, that I've had for 3 years, is actually my neighbor's missing cat. FML

#21212155
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46355) - you deserved it (5746)

On 07/17/2014 at 7:32pm - animals - by kittynapper - United States (Colorado)

Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML

Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games until I realized she was actually into this. FML

#21209385
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44024) - you deserved it (5147)

On 07/14/2014 at 11:25pm - intimacy - by thedoc (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to impress my boyfriend by slowly backing up and biting my lip to get him to come closer and kiss me. I ended up smacking the back of my head against a brick wall. FML

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, I decided to try something new with my boyfriend, and sexted him. My text ended up sounding so stupid that I panicked and quickly sent another saying "SORRY WRONG PERSON". FML

Today, after five years of dating, my boyfriend finally proposed to me. The words "just think of the tax breaks" were uttered. FML

#21208167
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39254) - you deserved it (4224)

On 07/13/2014 at 6:36pm - love - by justthinkofyourhand - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

#21208053
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43243) - you deserved it (4372)

On 07/13/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, I had my third date with a lovely guy. After I got home, I figured I'd try to see if I could find his Facebook profile. I did. His pictures were nice; lovely wedding photos for sure, and his newborn baby is adorable. FML

#21207995
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53092) - you deserved it (4375)

On 07/13/2014 at 2:34pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

#21207892
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39884) - you deserved it (5771)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

#21207158
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41884) - you deserved it (6965)

On 07/12/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)



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