About domxxily : friends are my life
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend when he reminded me that I needed to cut my toe nails. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4835) - you deserved it (7800)
On 02/09/2010 at 7:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75005) - you deserved it (10601)
On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56410) - you deserved it (3656)
On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)
Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (51047) - you deserved it (11675)
On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML
I agree, your life sucks (113384) - you deserved it (6689)
On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21465) - you deserved it (213673)
On 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by ouchers (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38762) - you deserved it (570158)
On 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm - misc - by I_Am_The_Edge (man) - United States (California)
Today, I saw my super creepy live-in uncle standing in the kitchen holding a pair of my underwear and smiling at it, humming to himself. He didn't see me. I stood there for at least 30 seconds in shock, and when I backed away he was still looking at them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (109202) - you deserved it (5096)
On 06/02/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by wtf. (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24591) - you deserved it (48779)
On 06/01/2009 at 9:53pm - health - by dearme (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24545) - you deserved it (106454)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30741) - you deserved it (75092)
On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML
I agree, your life sucks (80039) - you deserved it (21095)
On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, while showering, my 3 year old son comes to the bathroom and puts on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterward, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32939) - you deserved it (67765)
On 04/04/2009 at 10:10pm - kids - by heytherexo (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53305) - you deserved it (418108)
On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (307168) - you deserved it (40936)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)
Monday 20 May 2013
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