doltkid

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doltkid

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 February 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 610
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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doltkid's page activity

Visits<b>smallzz993</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 1:41pm

doltkid's FML badges

Mobility

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Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

doltkid's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser as lube when he wanks. It's $90 per bottle. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2011 at 5:09am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I finally got the nerve to tell my parents that I'm no longer going to pay them a flat percent of my salary, but only what they need to cover my expenses. Their response: "Better find a place of your own then, you freeloading bastard." FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2011 at 4:49pm / United States (Texas) / Money

Today, my boyfriend and his bandmates were doing a live interview for a web show. Drunk off his ass, my boyfriend starts telling the internet how his ex-girlfriend is his biggest inspiration. I was standing right next to him. FML

by Btwigster / 07/18/2011 at 9:20pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend made me watch six hours of "Glee" with her. I don't know what I hate the most, the fact that I actually sat there and watched it or that I'm angry at Finn for breaking up with Rachel. FML

by why me / 05/22/2011 at 7:09pm / Geek

Today, my husband and I went to the state fair. The entire time, he complained about all the money we were losing because of the high prices of both rides and food. Towards the end of the night, we counted the cash we had left and found we were $50 short. Apparently, it fell out of his pocket. FML

by Catie / 05/13/2011 at 2:47pm / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, my brother thought it would be hilarious to take a pair of scissors to all my bras. My mom can't take me shopping for another three days and I have no one to borrow a bra from. I have school. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2011 at 12:11pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was robbed. They took my father's ashes. FML

by stolen / 04/11/2011 at 3:29pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend started to kiss my boobs. I am pregnant and started my lactation period. Now every time he looks at me he calls me milky way. FML

by ananomus / 08/22/2010 at 12:26am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, was my boyfriend's birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML

by jinxofsocal / 06/21/2009 at 12:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

by SpiderMan / 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy