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dolphinz131995

Offline (the 02/25/2015 at 7:40pm) | Search for a member

dolphinz131995

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1147
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About dolphinz131995 : BOO!

dolphinz131995's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of dolphinz131995's badges

dolphinz131995's favorite FMLs

yesterday I was out wit girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began a guy approacd an askd "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprisd me by saying "Sure!" As I was about to protest te guy cut me off an said "Sorry miss I was asking im."

#21059471
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46537) - you deserved it (6575)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Yesterday , my lips were dry and chappd , so I askd if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind , so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML

#21021931
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40291) - you deserved it (12613)

On 01/08/2014 at 10:23pm - misc - by chapstick (man) - United States (California)

2day marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learnd to masturbate. He humps hisheel an makes squeaking noises fir five minutes, then rolls over on his side an pants heavily. He does it at least twice a nighthile I'm trying to sleep. FML

#21008605
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46062) - you deserved it (3640)

On 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonomous - United States (Vermont)

Today mah family and I finished moving to Texas. As if that isn't bad enough I'll have to introduce myself all over again to everyone I meet and explain that yes mah parents really did name me Lilypad. FML

#20973574
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47746) - you deserved it (3953)

On 11/28/2013 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, with mah name sounding vaguely like 'Turkey' an being in the phonebook 4 business purposes, people keep calling, offering to stuff me 4 Thanksgiving. FML

#20973255
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36681) - you deserved it (3228)

On 11/28/2013 at 1:26am - animals - by NotTellingYouMyName (woman) - United States (New York)

today I realized that no matter what I accomplish in life, I'll always be remembered 4 being the son of a woman so stupid that she claimed she used to be Elvis Presley's mistress!! She was still an infant when he died!! FML

#20968220
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43382) - you deserved it (2927)

On 11/23/2013 at 6:45pm - misc - by fs (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today... I was watcing some episodes of Te Walking Dead wit boyfriend... after recently introducing im to te series. A scene involving Carl came on... and boyfriend said... "God damn. You ever give me a kid tat annoying... I'll soot bot of ya rigt in te looool ead." big fat FML

#20950616
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38689) - you deserved it (6875)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:50pm - misc - by kel (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work wat a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML

#20944786
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62398) - you deserved it (4055)

On 11/04/2013 at 12:45am - intimacy - by TheTruthofWomen (woman) - United States

Today, my car keys r in my house and my house keys r in my car, and I'm in neither . FML

#20943997
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48058) - you deserved it (8627)

On 11/03/2013 at 3:18pm - misc - by Argh (man) - France (Poitou-Charentes)

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someoneho'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML

#20940283
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42990) - you deserved it (8987)

On 10/31/2013 at 2:27pm - kids - by anna (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

my parents dropped by mah new house, and mah mother offered to tidy up fir me while I was out . After they left, I noticed that her "tidying up" included throwing out all the pictures of mah girlfriend and replacing them with pictures of herself . FML

#20921711
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47207) - you deserved it (4459)

On 10/15/2013 at 4:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my new deodorant causd an allergic reaction, covering my armpits in a painful rash. I've had to awkwardly waddle around all day with my arms splayd outwards to get any relief. One customer at work sarcastically mentiond that it's nice that they're hring penguins these days. FML

#20909610
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39521) - you deserved it (3346)

On 10/06/2013 at 1:40pm - health - by _/ | \_ (woman) - Singapore

Taday My Bully Made Me Cry Once Again. It's Been Going On For Weeks. I Don't Know Who To Turn To; I Can't Say Anything Because I'd Get Into Even More Trouble. He Even Stole My Nintendo 3DS And Won't Give It Back. My Bully Is My Grlfriend's Son. He's 10. FML

#20904358
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30656) - you deserved it (50703)

On 10/02/2013 at 4:12am - kids - by PickedOnByDamien (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I decidd to be friendly and say i to te werd kid at scool, wo was sitting by imself eating lunc. After I said ello, e stard up at me intensely and said, ( I don't ave many friends. Yea. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of tem. ) FML

#20895757
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38951) - you deserved it (4984)

On 09/25/2013 at 4:02pm - misc - by scared shitless in ohio (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce mah parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and mah boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them wat was wrong cuz I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating mah dad's drug dealer. FML

#20724998
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73251) - you deserved it (7239)

On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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