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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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doll_face

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doll_face
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 23754
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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doll_face's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in Walmart. I saw a demo for Guitar Hero on the DS so I started playing. I was kicking ass and really feeling great about myself. I then looked away for a second, looked back down, and saw that the notes were still being hit. The demo had been on automatic-player the entire time. FML

#2414317 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (13286) - you deserved it (44922)

On 05/29/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by theskippster - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boy friend said "you know who you remind me of? Sarah Palin." And then for the next 15 minutes continued to discuss how ugly she is. FML

#2401768 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (39307) - you deserved it (2118)

On 05/29/2009 at 1:51pm - misc - by Jazzyfayyye (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got my belly button pierced. The guy put a small dot with a sharpie right above the center of my belly button so he knew exactly where to pierce. I also have a small freckle noticeably to the left of center of my belly button. Guess which one he pierced through. FML

#2399867 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (37250) - you deserved it (4290)

On 05/29/2009 at 11:47am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while getting ready for work I realized all my pants were getting a bit tight. When I got home from work I went in to the bathroom and stood on the scale which confirmed I have gained a few pounds. I then realized that I was eating while standing on the scale. FML

#2390335 (78)

I agree, your life sucks (8153) - you deserved it (39086)

On 05/28/2009 at 10:35pm - health - by pathetic (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I did some math. Relaxing bubble bath soap: $17.00. Enough water to fill a bathtub: $10. Favorite tea: $4. Organic candle: $8. Looking out the window to see your 70+ year old male neighbor taking pictures of you lowering yourself into your bath: Priceless. FML

#2370756 (286)

I agree, your life sucks (53200) - you deserved it (8271)

On 05/28/2009 at 11:00am - money - by BABYof_theGROUP (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama pants. He then jumped, clinging on to my crotch. I screamed in pain, which scared him and made him hold on tighter. My cat was literally hanging from my vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off. FML

#2349846 (336)

I agree, your life sucks (49264) - you deserved it (5363)

On 05/27/2009 at 6:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I dreamed that I met this beautiful girl at a restaurant and we ended up having lunch together. Everything was going perfect until the end when I tried to get her number and she wouldn't give it to me. I can't even get a girl in my dreams. FML

#2335998 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (44936) - you deserved it (4450)

On 05/27/2009 at 5:48am - love - by xpxp2002 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was on webcam with someone and the conversation died so I said "brb". I sat there for five minutes not realising I had left my webcam on. FML

#2334865 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (5713) - you deserved it (53772)

On 05/27/2009 at 3:11am - misc - by Arrgh (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I saw this tourist almost get hit by a cab. After he walked away I complained to my boyfriend about how idiotic people like him just deserve to die. After 5 blocks of my ranting the tourist turns around and says "I'm right in front of you bitch." I hid behind my laughing boyfriend. FML

#2328337 (246)

I agree, your life sucks (5078) - you deserved it (56329)

On 05/26/2009 at 11:08pm - misc - by Ash (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, on my way out of the subway station, I noticed an older woman standing at the bottom of a flight of stairs with a large cart. I went up to her and asked if she needed help getting it up the stairs. She looks me up and down and says, "No, not from you." FML

#2317005 (106)

I agree, your life sucks (36310) - you deserved it (2755)

On 05/26/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by yaa (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, on the way to work, I pulled over at a postbox to post a letter. I walked up to the box with the letter in one hand, car key in the other. Guess which one I posted. FML

#2050004 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (31674) - you deserved it (18440)

On 05/18/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by Posty (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, the man I was going to dinner with got me the most expensive necklace. We got to the table he had reserved when his friend comes and sits with us. Somehow the subject of getting it on comes up. My date then says "expensive jewelry - one way ticket to her pants". FML

#2048431 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (41773) - you deserved it (4449)

On 05/18/2009 at 12:46pm - love - by Anonymous - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I was working at my job as cashier. This really attractive girl that comes in walked in, so I mustered up the courage to ask her out, by writing my number on a dollar bill. She pays and a dollar is her change. I go to hand her the money when she sees it and says, "Keep the change". FML

#2043522 (137)

I agree, your life sucks (36031) - you deserved it (11934)

On 05/18/2009 at 4:45am - love - by oops (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 6 year old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair who's leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?". He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then responds, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML

#2030761 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (71620) - you deserved it (13644)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:19pm - kids - by embarrassedmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping in the dog world meant dominance. Well, I decided to instill my dominance and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481 (435)

I agree, your life sucks (22252) - you deserved it (97749)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)