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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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doggie3

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doggie3
  • Town/Country : miami
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4171
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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doggie3's favorite FMLs

Today, while putting on makeup, I got a face full of bloody scratches instead of an even skin tone. Turns out my makeup sponge was full of bits of glass. My little brother forgot to tell me he shattered a mirror beside my makeup box. FML

#6316849 (70)

I agree, your life sucks (24078) - you deserved it (1918)

On 11/15/2009 at 8:46pm - kids - by redisnotmycolor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went on blind date with a guy because both our moms thought we'd like eachother. Things were going really well until I got up to go to the bathroom and he says: "My mom was right, you do have perfect breedin' hips!" FML

#6255110 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (27828) - you deserved it (2567)

On 11/11/2009 at 7:21am - love - by Starchyld (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at a Remembrance Day service when an old widow told me I had my "grandad's" medals on the wrong side of my coat. I told her that I was an Afghanistan veteran and that they were mine. She then berated me in front of the WHOLE service for "lying". FML

#6251729 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (30093) - you deserved it (1646)

On 11/10/2009 at 11:36pm - misc - by Danners88 (man) - Australia

Today, while cleaning up, I dropped a box of thumbtacks, spilling them all over the floor. As I fumbled to pick them up, the power went out. FML

#5589145 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (35608) - you deserved it (2329)

On 10/01/2009 at 6:31pm - misc - by Ouchies (woman) - United States (Florida) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I found out that if you don't clean the inside of your sonicare toothbrush, it can grow masses of fungus. I've been brushing my teeth with a vibrating mushroom for the past 5 months. FML

#5588493 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (21134) - you deserved it (14259)

On 10/01/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by mushroommouth (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend told me she lost her phone and not to call or text her. After about three hours, I text her phone, asking if she found it yet. I got a reply, saying "Nope." FML

#5586348 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (32152) - you deserved it (3763)

On 10/01/2009 at 4:07pm - misc - by dumbass (man) - United States (Pennsylvania) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I was at my son's baseball game when a foul ball came flying toward my brand new car. In an attempt to save my windshield, I dove onto trying to stop the ball only to land on my windshield, crack it and see the ball land safely on the ground next to my car. FML

#5584861 (43)

I agree, your life sucks (6966) - you deserved it (24156)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:27pm - misc - by baseball25635 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out the reason my clothes have been smelling a little funny isn't because I sweat heavily, it's because of the dead rat in the back of my dryer. FML

#5541455 (49)

I agree, your life sucks (31016) - you deserved it (3489)

On 09/29/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I fell asleep during naptime. I'm the teacher. FML

#5013667 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (12557) - you deserved it (24209)

On 09/03/2009 at 1:05am - work - by yogabbagabba (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I figured out that a $40 phone case does not protect your $500 phone from a five year old throwing it off a fourth story balcony. FML

#5012990 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (30689) - you deserved it (5599)

On 09/03/2009 at 12:37am - kids - by eagerbeaver (man) - United States

Today, I was brushing my teeth in my bathroom. As I looked in the mirror I spotted a zit on my forehead. Keeping my toothbrush in my mouth, I quickly lean in towards the mirror to pop the pimple meanwhile lodging my toothbrush down my throat. I temporarily can't talk. FML

#4927386 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (10433) - you deserved it (28186)

On 08/30/2009 at 11:22am - misc - by Mirroronthewall (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to buy another pair of 'fat jeans', because my old 'fat jeans' became my new 'skinny jeans'. FML

#4926734 (224)

I agree, your life sucks (18312) - you deserved it (40221)

On 08/30/2009 at 10:15am - misc - by FML (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the movies with the girl I liked. She kept on eating my popcorn so I whispered in her ear "Pretty soon your going to have to repay me with kisses." Then she looked at me and walked out the theatre. She came back with a bucket of popcorn and said "Here, you're repaid." FML

#4925971 (269)

I agree, your life sucks (26113) - you deserved it (28275)

On 08/30/2009 at 8:19am - love - by regected (man) - United States (California)

Today, a customer brought her kids into the store where I work. I like to make people laugh so being my usual joking self I kidded "Why aren't those kids in school?". She didn't laugh when she said that their house burned down the night before and the kids had no clothes to wear to school. FML

#4807414 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (33087) - you deserved it (8034)

On 08/25/2009 at 9:21am - work - by mybad - United States (Georgia)

Today, as I got into an elevator, I spotted a little old lady hobbling desperately to get on. I frantically tapped on the 'door open' button but the doors closed. I got dirty looks from the people in the lift, only then did I realise I had frantically tapped the 'door close' button instead. FML

#4805621 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (17357) - you deserved it (20517)

On 08/25/2009 at 5:17am - misc - by ElevatorThug (man) - Singapore