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doctor_awesome

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doctor_awesome
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 675
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About doctor_awesome : I'm sarcastic and I love irony. Nothing I say is serious. I'm an ass, get over it. I use the app, don't message me. Unless you want to waste your time. In that case, be my guest. x) I'm funny when I feel like it. Everyone has their off days. If I reply to your comment, it's usually just to be a smart ass.

If you have a car as your picture, stop being a douchebag and change it. You're not Optimus Prime, you're a person. -_-

Ok, I'm done. Gtfo.

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doctor_awesome's favorite FMLs

Today, I completed the arduous, nearly hour-long process of answering the eHarmony dating questionnaire, only to be told my answers were too "unique" for them to match me with anyone. I had chosen "the world" as my distance range. FML

#18138545
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32185) - you deserved it (5090)

On 11/02/2011 at 2:14pm - love - by DrakeScott (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I had to break up a fistfight between my wife and mother. Apparently, my mom heard that I finally got the great paying job of my dreams, and told my wife I'd finally kick her "useless ass to the curb." We have to spend the holidays together. FML

#18056102
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23861) - you deserved it (2975)

On 10/23/2011 at 5:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went on a date at a restaurant with a guy. When he promised I wouldn't have to pay the bill, I didn't think he meant we'd be dining and dashing. FML

#17888720
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19930) - you deserved it (2120)

On 10/02/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by scared (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML

#17884262
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27425) - you deserved it (2684)

On 10/02/2011 at 2:36am - misc - by Emmy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML

#17773869
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29950) - you deserved it (3829)

On 09/18/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, behind a cabinet, I found a scratch-off lottery ticket I hadn't scratched yet. After scratching it off, I realized it's a $2,500 winner. The lottery commission won't accept it because they stopped using that game 2 years ago. FML

#17688426
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33435) - you deserved it (8637)

On 09/07/2011 at 1:25pm - money - by BigMoney - United States (Ohio)

Today, at work, I heard a weird sound coming from the ceiling. As I looked up to see what it was, a huge splash of water hit me in the face. I called mall maintenance to let them know. They told me they already knew about the leak... from the sewage line. FML

#17621192
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25136) - you deserved it (1845)

On 08/30/2011 at 1:35pm - work - by honeybee2487 - United States

Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML

#17613922
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22947) - you deserved it (6556)

On 08/29/2011 at 5:19pm - health - by Stan - United States (California)

Today, I found out that I was moving to Germany. I'm going to be put back a year in school because of the system change. I also don't speak a word of German. Why? Because my mother wants to brag about this experience to her friends. FML

#17493123
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27655) - you deserved it (2247)

On 08/16/2011 at 8:05pm - kids - by Awesome (woman) - Russian Federation

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

#17487267
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30953) - you deserved it (2679)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:22am - kids - by Gross... (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

#17483730
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31698) - you deserved it (2552)

On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of my drunken antics. My reaction? Pour myself a stiff drink. FML

#17465074
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7272) - you deserved it (48956)

On 08/13/2011 at 11:56pm - health - by j - United States

Today, my car was broken into, and they stole all my CDs, but left my daughter's Black Eyed Peas CD behind. I'm pretty pissed about the theft, but almost glad to see that the delinquents in my town have a decent taste in music. FML

#17444868
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27534) - you deserved it (3768)

On 08/11/2011 at 10:30pm - money - by Musicfan - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, no matter how much I begged, my friend who'd locked himself away with my iPhone wouldn't stop taking pics of his penis and forwarding them to my boss. FML

#17438897
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43052) - you deserved it (4550)

On 08/11/2011 at 8:56am - intimacy - by bob - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that I look sexier in my fiancée's panties than she does. FML

#17029350
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28183) - you deserved it (19444)

On 07/08/2011 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by Joe - United States



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