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dmoz47

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dmoz47
  • Town/Country : NY, US of A
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 61
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About dmoz47 : Do u lol? I lol.
-Me

I'm cool. Message me cause I don't bite! I will deny any weird or creepy messages though. I AM Dmoz47 on ifunny. I'm a dude.
P.S. I'm obsessed with Adventure Time

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dmoz47's favorite FMLs

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML

#20840692
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43383) - you deserved it (17492)

On 08/16/2013 at 6:21pm - money - by JacksWag4 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, some guys were doing construction on my house, when one of them came over and started asking me about my "hot sister". That "sister" is my 13-year-old daughter. FML

#20781189
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46292) - you deserved it (3390)

On 07/14/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

#20778979
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61982) - you deserved it (4614)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:22am - love - by Stacy (woman) - United States

Today, I discovered that when my husband agreed to donate sperm so an infertile friend and his wife could have children, there was nothing "artificial" about the insemination. FML

#20762781
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57615) - you deserved it (4209)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by OnPlanetVenus (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, after going out to dinner with my girlfriend, we went back to my place and things started getting hot. I went in the bathroom and put on a green condom. She wouldn't have sex with me because it looked "like a cucumber" and "cucumbers are nasty." FML

#20745688
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44324) - you deserved it (11007)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by dan (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found shit on my windshield. I'm not sure if it is human or animal, but it was conveniently smeared all over and even more was placed under my wipers just in case I used them to clean it up. This isn't the first time, and I have no idea who I could have pissed off. FML

#20694826
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46030) - you deserved it (3883)

On 05/30/2013 at 5:41am - misc - by windshitwipers (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I tried to be kind to animals and get my dad to buy cage-free eggs. When I told him it was dollar more, he started yelling and making a scene in the middle of the store, saying that chickens are ugly and they deserve to suffer. FML

#19469757
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22998) - you deserved it (5580)

On 04/14/2012 at 11:46pm - misc - by ilovechickens - United States

Today, I had to sit and listen to my co-worker moan about how early he has to get up tomorrow to go on his ski holiday in France over Christmas. He also complained about how tiring skiing is. FML

#18560117
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23707) - you deserved it (1707)

On 12/20/2011 at 6:54am - work - by dogwheels - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I was eating cereal while absentmindedly reading the box. I was amused when I found it expires on my birthday. Then I realized it expired on my birthday two years ago. FML

#18286852
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14501) - you deserved it (23231)

On 11/19/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by jerdub93 - United States (California)

Today, I slipped and fell in mud while running from the car to inside to avoid getting wet in a torrential downpour. I was running from the limo, in my wedding dress, to the church for my wedding. FML

#17184775
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53243) - you deserved it (6649)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:26am - love - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML

#14475422
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46743) - you deserved it (8129)

On 01/05/2011 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at work and was confronted by a customer wanting to get a "Nemo" fish. I explained that 'Nemo' needs to live in saltwater, not freshwater, like their tank was. The customer then turns around and grabs a perforated tank divider and says, "Can't I just split them up with this?" FML

#12924795
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17758) - you deserved it (2555)

On 09/05/2010 at 11:01pm - work - by christiner - Sent from mobile version

Today, my 25 year old brother ran into my room very excited at 8am. "Wake up! We got a new puppy!" he told me. I was so excited so I jumped out of my warm bed. When I asked him if he was serious he said "No, but we have to go to church, so get dressed." FML

#6937151
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23527) - you deserved it (7806)

On 12/25/2009 at 10:30am - misc - by MessyMal (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend's 11 year old son accidentally shocked himself with our electric fly swatter. Thirty seconds later, while trying to prove to him that it's physically impossible to shock yourself with it, and that it's perfectly safe, I did the exact same thing. FML

#5209452
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5297) - you deserved it (46200)

On 09/12/2009 at 4:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, I was shopping in an upscale store. As I was changing, I heard one of the snobby saleswomen say to mine "You shouldn't bother. She isn't going to buy anything." Determined to "show her", I purchased everything I'd tried on. It came to around $500. My credit card was declined. FML

#1315447
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11258) - you deserved it (57705)

On 04/25/2009 at 8:49am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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