About dmoz47 : Do u lol? I lol.
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About dmoz47 : Do u lol? I lol.
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dmoz47's favorite FMLs
Today, I told my father I'm going to a club with a friend and staying the night at my friend's place. He asked for my friend's name, number, and address so he knows where I'll be. I'm 30 years old. FML
by Lokiara / 12/26/2014 at 1:18am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Ballsy427 / 07/25/2014 at 8:05am / United States (Armed Forces Pacific) / Work
Today, I had my third date with a lovely guy. After I got home, I figured I'd try to see if I could find his Facebook profile. I did. His pictures were nice; lovely wedding photos for sure, and his newborn baby is adorable. FML
by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 2:34pm / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Love
Today, my boss delivered some flowers and a sympathy card signed by everyone in the office to my cubicle. The card said, "Sorry your mom died". My mom isn't dead. I don't know where they got the idea from and no one believes me. They said that denial is part of grieving. FML
by ninnang / 07/09/2014 at 5:37pm / United States (Hawaii) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/03/2014 at 12:42pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Holidays
by possibly fucked / 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Intimacy
Today, I almost got written up for insubordination by my boss. All I did was explain to him that I couldn't help a tourist out because I speak Japanese, not Korean, and that it's not in fact "the same Asian shit" as he seemed to think. FML
by Anonymous / 06/17/2014 at 11:28am / United States (Missouri) / Work
Today, I took a look at my 9-year-old daughter's diary, thinking it would be full of cute stuff. Instead, it was full of hateful rants against me and my husband, as well the boys at her school, who she called gay because none of them ever hit on her. It seems I've failed as a parent. FML
by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 5:38pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend bought yet another video game and played it all afternoon. Unlike me, our parrot is taking this situation rather well: for the past two hours he's been repeating, over and over, "EA Sports, it's in the game." FML
by Apcn / 06/05/2014 at 4:05pm / France (Bretagne) / Animals
by Aether / 06/03/2014 at 6:51pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother-in-law came over for dinner. She decided to salt the food I was preparing without even tasting it first, then complained at dinner that I'd used too much salt. She then lectured me on the proper seasoning of food for the rest of the evening. FML
by NaCl / 05/24/2014 at 5:20pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I snuck out of the house to go to a party. When I got back later, I tried climbing back up the rope-ladder I'd set up earlier, leading back through my bedroom window. I was halfway up when it broke free. I sprained both my ankles and had to shamefully ring the doorbell to get back in. FML
by groundedasfuck / 05/24/2014 at 4:24pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
Today, while driving home, some idiot kept tailgating me, so I slowed down, hoping he'd overtake me. He didn't, so I pulled to the side of the road. He did the same, in front of me. He kept toying with me until I crashed into another car trying to speed away from him. FML
by Anonymous / 05/23/2014 at 6:06pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
Today, my daughter admitted why her grades, which are usually straight A's, have been slipping the past few weeks. Turns out she has been deliberately failing tests to avoid becoming valedictorian, so she won't have to deliver a speech at graduation. FML
by stillaproudfather / 05/22/2014 at 3:24pm / United States / Kids
Today, I realized that because of my construction job, I have spent such a huge amount of time with older, cynical guys that I keep uncontrollably using the phrase "fucking kids these days" regularly like an idiot. I'm 18. FML
by workfordayzz / 05/14/2014 at 1:45pm / United States / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…