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dmd316

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dmd316

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1952
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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dmd316's page activity

Visits<b>xSalashawty</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 6:31am<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 7:14pm<b>sweetbliss3</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 6:31pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 1:29pm<b>sleepRX</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 10:58am<b>jerryj</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 1:48am<b>JustTemporary</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 9:48pm<b>josebaseball11</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 11:01pm

dmd316's FML badges

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dmd316's favorite FMLs

Today, while on vacation, my parents called to inform me that my best friend had died in a car accident. Why? To trick me into tearfully confessing my love for him. It worked. FML

#21272324
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46323) - you deserved it (3827)

On 10/06/2014 at 9:14pm - love - by whywouldyoudothat - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage. I guess I hit the spot, because he muttered, "Please marry me" into the pillow. Considering we've been going out for years and had spoken about marriage before, I stopped in my tracks. He stammered, "Oh, I mean... Not like that. Will you keep going?" FML

#21272255
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34529) - you deserved it (3632)

On 10/06/2014 at 7:41pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML

#21267077
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31991) - you deserved it (3544)

On 09/28/2014 at 3:26pm - health - by jazzie7719 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend tried to be dominant during sex. It was so out of character for him, I couldn't help but break into hysterical laughter. FML

#21266104
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35442) - you deserved it (9284)

On 09/26/2014 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

#21265910
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39258) - you deserved it (6248)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up. He greeted me with a winning smile, a belch, and the words, "Nice tits." I'm beginning to lose hope. FML

#21265612
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34090) - you deserved it (3210)

On 09/26/2014 at 2:56am - love - by bri_sci94 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, marks yet again another day that I've been asked if I'm autistic. No, that's just my Korean accent. Apparently I look "too white" to have one. FML

#21265402
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30999) - you deserved it (2258)

On 09/25/2014 at 9:15pm - misc - by notautistic - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my insane roommate yelled at me for using the word "stupid" because apparently it is a slur against mentally disabled people. Later, she went on and on about this "queer" club she's attending to meet "queer" people to talk about "queer" issues. She's not gay. I am. FML

Today, my date ditched me and showed up with another guy at the same restaurant. She even tried to take the reservation. FML

#21263789
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35432) - you deserved it (2213)

On 09/23/2014 at 12:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to stop at a gas station to go to the bathroom. A sign on the door told people to knock since the door didn't lock. As I was peeing, a lady walked in on me. Rather than simply saying sorry and shutting the damn door, she opened it wider and stepped in to apologize. FML

#21262000
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34202) - you deserved it (2391)

On 09/20/2014 at 7:39pm - misc - by rabid_otaku - United States (Illinois)

Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML

#21257037
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43134) - you deserved it (2710)

On 09/12/2014 at 5:11pm - misc - by he's not the one going to hell (man) - Australia

Today, someone in my class referred to the September 11th attacks as "Nine-Elevs". FML

#21255951
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35400) - you deserved it (2827)

On 09/10/2014 at 9:47pm - misc - by no - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I started a new job. Three of my Kenyan coworkers keep getting together and reminding me that having more than one wife is okay in their country. I've gotten 3 marriage proposals from married men so far. FML

#21255696
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34177) - you deserved it (2825)

On 09/10/2014 at 1:16pm - work - by notmarryingyou - United States (Washington)

Today, I'm staying with my grandma and her older sister while my parents are away. It's been two hours and so far they've popped vicodins, talked about banging Alex Trebek, and had a farting contest. FML

#21253639
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35190) - you deserved it (3888)

On 09/07/2014 at 11:11am - misc - by imgonnadie (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", honey. FML

#21253313
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38805) - you deserved it (3410)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by healthfreak - United States (Georgia)



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