dmd316

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Offline (the 01/17/2015 at 9:10pm)

dmd316

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7446
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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dmd316's page activity

Visits<b>xSalashawty</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 6:31am<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 7:14pm<b>sweetbliss3</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 6:31pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 1:29pm<b>sleepRX</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 10:58am<b>jerryj</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 1:48am<b>JustTemporary</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 9:48pm<b>josebaseball11</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 11:01pm

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dmd316's favorite FMLs

Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. As things got heated, he broke down crying. I assumed it was just anxiety so I hugged him and told him it's alright and that it didn't matter, we'd try another time. Half an hour later, he confessed that he's actually gay. FML

by gunnerette / 12/21/2014 at 3:30am / Cyprus (Larnaca) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my pet bunny died. My little sister is distraught and practically suicidal, because apparently she playfully pointed a wand at it a few days ago and said "avada kedavra". She's absolutely convinced that she killed it. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2014 at 2:58pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, I found out that my dog likes to howl when he hears sirens. I live next to the fire station. FML

by drreeeewwww / 11/25/2014 at 3:44pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2014 at 3:15pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my dad if he thought my dress was nice, and if guys would go for me. He replied, "Shit, depends on how drunk they are." FML

by Veronica / 11/21/2014 at 3:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that having an open relationship isn't all that great, when my boyfriend hooked up with his ex and dumped me for her. FML

by openended / 11/21/2014 at 11:56am / United States (California) / Love

Today, at work, I put on a smile and went to take an elderly gentleman's order. He looked at me, asked if I'd stick a finger in his sweet tea to make it sweeter, then complained that it was a shame I wasn't "on the menu". FML

by Anonymous / 11/20/2014 at 11:20am / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, my supervisor was watching a video of his son. I heard a voice in the background and asked if it was Elmo. It was his wife. FML

by bookworm / 11/19/2014 at 3:56pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my boyfriend said "You're a real work of art. You know, the abstract kind that no one likes. Anyway, we need to break up." FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2014 at 12:40pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I met my sister's fiancé. I would have been happier for her if he hadn't been mine a month ago when I introduced them. FML

by MissAggravared / 11/19/2014 at 3:27am / United States (Idaho) / Love

Today, while lying in bed cuddling with my cat after getting stood up, I found out that even 80-year-old Charles Manson is engaged to be married. FML

by jessiejaybee / 11/18/2014 at 5:41am / United States / Love

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me if I don't satisfy his "needs." By "needs", he means me wearing a diaper during foreplay. FML

by honey, no boo-boo / 11/12/2014 at 12:55pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out the only reason my boyfriend asked me out is because he thought I "looked like a girl who'd be into anal". FML

by analgirl / 11/09/2014 at 8:31am / Love

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

by jennabee97 / 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids