About dktanker : I play World of Warcraft, i listen to heavy metal, whitechapel, as blood runs black, and parkway drive more specifically. like tattoos and stretched ears(i have both), and my friends and family fail at life.
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dktanker's favorite FMLs
by mustabeendrugs / 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/14/2013 at 1:23am / United States (Ohio) / Geek
Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML
by Anonymous / 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was taking a bus ride home, listening to some music. The music stopped and I assumed my iPod's battery had run out. Turns out someone managed to steal it, leaving my earphones in. I didn't feel a thing. FML
by stupid / 05/27/2013 at 7:16am / Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis) / Transportation
Today, I went out for a few drinks with some friends. All night, I kept smiling and showing off my newly brace-free teeth. Later on, one of my friends drunkly asked, "Why does she keep smiling? Her teeth are fucking jacked." FML
by murp / 10/18/2012 at 12:26pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health
Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML
by loveinanelevator / 02/13/2012 at 7:03am / Health
by Anonymous / 11/30/2010 at 10:23am / United States (California) / Health
by dane / 06/29/2010 at 2:07pm / United States (Iowa) / Love
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- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he… Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long… Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me that he listened to me yesterday: I said that I loved unusual…