dkelly_6

Search for a member

Offline (the 09/29/2015 at 1:46am)

dkelly_6

0Fucked!

dkelly_6dkelly_6
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 599
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About dkelly_6 : 16. I don't really have anything to say, but you can add me on Snapchat: dkelly_6

dkelly_6's page activity

Visits<b>kendalbear</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 1:27pm<b>luckygirl2522</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 1:30pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 10:31am<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 1:35pm<b>WOTAN1488</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 12:54pm

dkelly_6's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of dkelly_6's badges

dkelly_6's favorite FMLs

Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML

by BarhydtBran / 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, at a quiet restaurant, my stepdad loudly told me he hopes in the future they have "hover caskets" so he doesn't have to carry my "fat ass" to the grave. All because I didn't want a side salad. FML

by jarkleflob / 08/16/2015 at 1:49pm / United States (California) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was unloading Cokes outside of the movie theater I work at. While bent over, I heard someone call out, "Damn girl, you got a fat ass," followed by, "Oh God, that's a man!" I am indeed a man. FML

by Why Me / 08/12/2015 at 9:50am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom meant to send a picture of her poop to my aunt, but sent it to my swim coach instead. FML

by kobolobo / 08/11/2015 at 12:45pm / United States (Washington) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I witnessed my dad spreading his ass cheeks to show my mom the rashes his hemorrhoids are giving him. FML

by smf_ds / 07/31/2015 at 4:48pm / Portugal (Porto) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML

by anon / 07/31/2015 at 4:28pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I lost my virginity. The most memorable aspect of it wasn't the fact that my boyfriend finished after two thrusts, but rather the fact that he first said, "The pilot has entered the cockpit." FML

by henhouse / 07/18/2015 at 7:09am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my son was planning on going clubbing. I disapproved, but no matter what I say he never listens, so I simply offered him some condoms so he doesn't end up knocking anyone up. He just said, "Nah, dad. Get 'em drunk enough and it's anal all the way." FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2015 at 1:00am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at my shitty, minimum wage job at McDonalds, a guy walked out of the bathroom. He said "Good luck in there." worriedly, then left. I don't know if it was his handiwork, but it looked like a shit grenade had detonated. It was even on the walls. FML

by don't get paid enough for this / 07/10/2015 at 10:20pm / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, our company was being visited by one of our biggest clients, a rich Japanese businessman. My boss wanted to honour him by welcoming him while wearing a kimono in the reception area of our building. The client was in a suit and tie, and I don't think he'll be back. FML

by Bart / 07/03/2015 at 12:32am / Work

Today, I found out where my sister's pet lizard escaped to. I also found out that the little shit likes to hide in dark, cold places. I discovered this when I heard the bastard squeal as I started the lawnmower. FML

by Alex Andreas / 07/01/2015 at 11:10pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Animals

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML

by oh no / 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2015 at 9:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard my sister screaming from the basement, "Don't you hit me, you asshole!" Knowing her boyfriend was over, I ran downstairs with my baseball bat, ready to smash the fucker hitting my sister. Turns out they were just playing Mario Kart and he rammed her off the edge of a bridge. FML

by baberuth / 06/19/2015 at 6:21pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous