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dkelly_6

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dkelly_6

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 173
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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dkelly_6's page activity

Visits<b>WOTAN1488</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 12:54pm

dkelly_6's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

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dkelly_6's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML

#21430214
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23533) - you deserved it (4444)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm - health - by oh no (man) - United States (California)

Today, I heard my sister screaming from the basement, "Don't you hit me, you asshole!" Knowing her boyfriend was over, I ran downstairs with my baseball bat, ready to smash the fucker hitting my sister. Turns out they were just playing Mario Kart and he rammed her off the edge of a bridge. FML

#21428714
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26382) - you deserved it (3673)

On 06/19/2015 at 6:21pm - misc - by baberuth - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I had to endure the most mortifying ambulance ride of my life after my fiancé's cock ring got stuck on my tongue piercing. As I was trying not to choke or vomit, he actually high-fived one of the EMTs and tried to get him to take a picture on his phone. FML

#21424446
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29270) - you deserved it (8545)

On 06/11/2015 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by awkward - United Kingdom (Dumfries and Galloway)

Today, my professor let a guy into my philosophy class 30 minutes late because his excuse was, "Time is just an illusion." This is the same professor that kicked me out of the classroom for being 2 minutes late. FML

#21423584
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24673) - you deserved it (2491)

On 06/09/2015 at 9:59pm - work - by Really - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I went to the living room where my mother was so I could ask her about something. I found her lying pantsless on the couch trying to cut her pubic hair with a pair of scissors. FML

#21422975
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26069) - you deserved it (1862)

On 06/08/2015 at 7:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML

#21243189
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23203) - you deserved it (40133)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML

#21238932
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52991) - you deserved it (9049)

On 08/16/2014 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by gag reflex - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML

#21231691
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27780) - you deserved it (39909)

On 08/07/2014 at 11:36am - health - by Dancing King (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, my husband was disgusted by me expressing breast milk while we were in the shower together. This is the same man who thinks it's funny to pee on my legs because, "It'll wash off." FML

#21229021
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44202) - you deserved it (4665)

On 08/04/2014 at 1:42am - health - by Ew?Really? (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49347) - you deserved it (21304)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my dad asked me how I would feel about going on an all-expenses-paid, month-long holiday to the Caribbean. I was ecstatic and broke into tears of joy, saying I'd love it. He replied, "Yeah, me too. Shame it ain't happening!" then left for work, laughing his arse off. FML

#21220536
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45019) - you deserved it (8608)

On 07/25/2014 at 6:46pm - misc - by xXshitface4uXx (woman) - New Zealand (Bay of Plenty)

Today, the fire alarm went off at work. My office is on the second floor, and the door to the stairs were jammed shut. The only way out was jumping out the window. The best part was breaking my leg due to someone burning their lunch. FML

#21218720
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44337) - you deserved it (8131)

On 07/23/2014 at 9:34pm - health - by timv94 (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I asked my class of fifth graders to write down a list of all the compound words they knew. At least four of them put down 'motherfucker'. FML

#21218609
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42303) - you deserved it (5022)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mom told me my relationship is a joke, because teenagers don't understand the meaning of relationships and commitment. I couldn't help but remind her how she's divorced three separate men to date. She hit me over the head so hard that snot flew out of my nose. FML

#21213268
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53411) - you deserved it (10168)

On 07/18/2014 at 7:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML

#21212869
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69301) - you deserved it (5463)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm - love - by someonepleasehelpme (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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