Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

djsammyc

Search for a member

djsammyc

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 18 June 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 991
  • Number of comments : 164
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About djsammyc : hi, im sam. im a socially awkward clutz with an over active imagination. I will most likely never get published but that doesnt mean I wont try to turn my misfortune into a good laugh for you:)

djsammyc's page activity

Visits<b>chingachonga</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 4:46pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 4:34pm<b>Kidkaplan</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:09pm<b>Cruzg2017</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 8:43pm<b>ian3866</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 6:36pm<b>michman3030</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 10:10am<b>SiKH_WiT_iT</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 5:28pm<b>kingteefteef</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 5:15pm<b>guess_again</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 10:44am<b>rdnkchevy</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 9:33pm<b>ZooMzy</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 11:40am<b>zingline89</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 10:45am<b>_Rachel_2008</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 6:43am<b>lazyslumber</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 6:36am<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 5:23am<b>Pwib</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 5:20am<b>mathen</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 4:41am<b>SmokinGuns</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:54pm

djsammyc's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of djsammyc's badges

djsammyc's favorite FMLs

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, as I was on the couch taking a nap, it started violently shaking. I panicked and chased my family outside, convinced it was an earthquake. It was just the cat trapped inside the couch. FML

Today, I was finally given a parking spot at work. It turns out to be between an expensive sports car that never parks straight and a giant truck too big for its space. FML

#21215497
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40096) - you deserved it (2763)

On 07/20/2014 at 7:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house, intending to break up with him. Instead, I was greeted by his whole family throwing me a surprise party. I had to sit and listen to his whole family talk about what a great couple we are and how we're going to last forever. FML

#21215195
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51115) - you deserved it (8065)

On 07/20/2014 at 1:59pm - love - by I Feel Horrible - United States (California)

Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML

#21214404
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49235) - you deserved it (6747)

On 07/19/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by Death By Parent (woman) - United States

Today, I was at a party, and someone called the cops on us. I dove into a bush that turned out to have thorns. I got multiple cuts and a sprained wrist, and got arrested anyway. Its kind of hard to hide from the police when you're screaming in agony. FML

#21213929
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37791) - you deserved it (23875)

On 07/19/2014 at 7:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mother compared having me as a daughter to having a deadly kind of cancer. FML

#21213727
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43728) - you deserved it (4849)

On 07/19/2014 at 1:53am - misc - by wtf? - United States (Nevada)

Today, the guy I've been seeing for a year and a half ended it. Why? He found another girl. "She's just like you." FML

#21213656
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47127) - you deserved it (3487)

On 07/19/2014 at 12:43am - love - by anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my 3-year-old daughter asked me to carry her from the car to the house. I asked her for 3 kisses and a hug in return. She said she'd rather walk instead. FML

#21213512
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43670) - you deserved it (6004)

On 07/18/2014 at 10:56pm - kids - by kids say the darnedest things - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was using a public restroom. After about a minute of me being in there, a little girl came in and started pounding on the door, screaming that she had to go. My pregnancy hormones are so bad that I almost burst into tears. FML

#21213357
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34342) - you deserved it (16377)

On 07/18/2014 at 9:04pm - misc - by LissaMccracken (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my mom told me my relationship is a joke, because teenagers don't understand the meaning of relationships and commitment. I couldn't help but remind her how she's divorced three separate men to date. She hit me over the head so hard that snot flew out of my nose. FML

#21213268
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50700) - you deserved it (9509)

On 07/18/2014 at 7:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML

#21199713
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46101) - you deserved it (14194)

On 07/05/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Rowansgonnarow -

Today, I woke up to my young niece hammering a metal cookie cutter into my leg. I'll have a teddy bear shaped scar for the rest of my life. FML

#21199181
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49426) - you deserved it (4646)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:40am - kids - by umerin - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was on the internet playing a game. I have a speech impediment, and the guy running it told me to get off his server for making fun of disabled people. FML

#21199175
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45515) - you deserved it (3773)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:37am - misc - by Wow (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML

#21199096
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44760) - you deserved it (8991)

On 07/05/2014 at 12:26am - intimacy - by bad in the sack - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: