Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1250
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

djinnsnme's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 11:06pm<b>codexide</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 12:48am<b>Floridakid</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 5:04pm<b>tpm45</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 8:35pm<b>cutycat136</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 2:59pm<b>BrainDeadGirl</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 2:53pm<b>annihil8or</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 2:21pm<b>parism143</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 12:12am<b>CanadiansPlease</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 10:42pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 2:49am<b>Kiegan_31</b> - the 01/04/2013 at 5:58am<b>lagirdam</b> - the 01/03/2013 at 11:36pm<b>FarSide</b> - the 08/26/2012 at 11:37am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 5:06am

djinnsnme's FML badges


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of djinnsnme's badges

djinnsnme's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard a loud beep for over an hour. It didn't come from my phone or even an alarm of some sort. It was my son pretending to be a smoke alarm. FML

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44339) - you deserved it (16599)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my brother and I took our cars to get oil changes. While we were there, a guy asked if we were dating. When we told him we were siblings, he responded with, "So?" FML

Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52662) - you deserved it (8685)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by you+me-clothes=53>< (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I was watching TV when my sister-in-law called me, laughing. It turns out my brother got his head stuck between the bars on the stairs. Again. My brother is 29. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39552) - you deserved it (2928)

On 11/14/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by AshlynnPrime - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50562) - you deserved it (13333)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by CanWeAllGetOne - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the bathroom on the way to class. After washing my hands, I couldn't figure out how to turn off the water. I finally resorted to asking a professor for help. She turned it off, looked me in the eyes and said, "Please don't tell me you're here on a scholarship." FML


I agree, your life sucks (26457) - you deserved it (34462)

On 11/06/2013 at 7:16pm - misc - by nevergoingtopeeagain - United States (Texas)

Today, my pregnant wife was crying, so I let her sit on my lap so I could comfort her. She quickly started laughing in embarrassment as she peed on my leg. FML


I agree, your life sucks (57405) - you deserved it (6599)

On 09/09/2013 at 4:16pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33445) - you deserved it (4615)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33360) - you deserved it (15583)

On 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44891) - you deserved it (7587)

On 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm - love - by Bella (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized something: when other people are drunk, they dance around and make out with people. When I'm drunk, I apparently think it's a great idea to chew on electrical cords. FML


I agree, your life sucks (18067) - you deserved it (30327)

On 12/29/2012 at 2:30am - misc - by almostkilledmyself - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43611) - you deserved it (4314)

On 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52533) - you deserved it (11014)

On 12/24/2012 at 8:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: