djcayo

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Offline (the 08/12/2015 at 3:58am)

djcayo

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1407
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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djcayo's page activity

Visits<b>TheMeepyGames</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 4:07am<b>cryss77</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 10:29pm<b>cookimonstur</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 2:28pm<b>Shanny2224</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 1:34pm<b>REALAfroninga</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 8:51pm<b>hanna_0619</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 8:24pm<b>KraZyKaT963</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 12:39pm<b>MrItalia</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 5:45am<b>meepmerp</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 1:51am<b>warsun</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 12:53am<b>maggiefox</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 11:10pm<b>starcaller17</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 5:31pm<b>LilCheeno</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 4:40pm<b>beerlaoisawesome</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 8:36am<b>nomtard</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 7:24am<b>cnparks1990</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 11:19pm<b>emilyyy_maryyy</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 10:35pm<b>StupidlyCute</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 10:03pm

djcayo's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of djcayo's badges

djcayo's favorite FMLs

Today, I just found my husband on Craigslist. He's working away from home, and he's looking to give a blowjob. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2015 at 3:29pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend decided it was time to spice up our sex life. He now watches Sons Of Anarchy when we have sex. FML

by Anonymous / 03/19/2014 at 10:43pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML

by emergencyroom / 03/15/2014 at 8:21am / United States (Maryland) / Kids

Today, my neighbor came over and yelled at me for traumatizing her kids. What did I do? Nothing. Her kids entered my back yard, dug up my 1-month-dead hamster and freaked out. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2014 at 2:39am / United States (Hawaii) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She'd walked in on me jerking off, which she said is exactly the same as cheating on her. FML

by fuck russia and fuck georgia too / 03/09/2014 at 2:38pm / Azerbaijan / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my lover and boyfriend of over 5 years has me listed in his contacts as "Vagina". FML

by ouch / 03/02/2014 at 3:44am / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

by well SHIT / 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML

by chinaski7628 / 02/15/2014 at 2:11am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I found my daughter's "sex songs" playlist. I was more disappointed by her poor taste in music than the fact that she is already sexually active. FML

by aarong / 02/10/2014 at 1:42am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML

by Evolution mama / 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Kids

Today, my brother came to my first standup comedy act. He'd apparently read my material beforehand, and kept finishing my jokes for me. FML

by DeeDee / 02/04/2014 at 5:08pm / Austria (Wien) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML

by f / 11/09/2013 at 6:30pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, a few of my friends arranged for us to go skinny-dipping with the guy I really like. It went really well, until a turd surfaced before our eyes. After we scrambled out of the pool in panic, my crush called us all freaks and left. FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2013 at 3:56pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized I can't wait until my daughter moves out the house when she is 18. She is eight. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2013 at 1:51am / United States (Florida) / Kids