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djcayo's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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djcayo's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 07/30/2015 at 3:29pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/19/2014 at 10:43pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML
by emergencyroom / 03/15/2014 at 8:21am / United States (Maryland) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/12/2014 at 2:39am / United States (Hawaii) / Kids
by fuck russia and fuck georgia too / 03/09/2014 at 2:38pm / Azerbaijan / Intimacy
by ouch / 03/02/2014 at 3:44am / United States (Iowa) / Love
Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML
by well SHIT / 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML
by chinaski7628 / 02/15/2014 at 2:11am / United States (California) / Work
by aarong / 02/10/2014 at 1:42am / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML
by Evolution mama / 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Kids
by DeeDee / 02/04/2014 at 5:08pm / Austria (Wien) / Miscellaneous
by f / 11/09/2013 at 6:30pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, a few of my friends arranged for us to go skinny-dipping with the guy I really like. It went really well, until a turd surfaced before our eyes. After we scrambled out of the pool in panic, my crush called us all freaks and left. FML
by Anonymous / 10/20/2013 at 3:56pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/17/2013 at 1:51am / United States (Florida) / Kids
- Today, I've finally begun to realize that my boyfriend calls his cat more relationship pet-names in… Today, my six year old son was yelling to me from outside the house. Frustrated because I could not… Today, I slept through a major test and emailed my professor if I could take it in the next class.…