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djallthat

Offline (the 10/11/2014 at 11:33pm) | Search for a member

djallthat

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  • Number of visits : 170
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djallthat's page activity

Visits<b>Amizee</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 10:35pm<b>virgilcole505</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 12:29am

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djallthat's favorite FMLs

Today, after a long day at work, I was starving, so I stopped by the drive-through for something to eat. When I got home and hurriedly opened the bag, all I found inside was napkins. Thanks, McDonald's. FML

#21136073
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41913) - you deserved it (10070)

On 05/10/2014 at 9:34pm - work - by can't eat paper - United States

Today, I found a bird that had fallen from its nest, so I made a new nest for it in a shoebox and put it as close to the old one as possible. When I checked back on it later, all I found was a chewed-up corpse. FML

#21135882
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36001) - you deserved it (5520)

On 05/10/2014 at 5:32pm - animals - by KHAAAAA-RMA!! (man) - United States

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50073) - you deserved it (18166)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50073) - you deserved it (18166)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, I took my younger sister to see Santa for a photo. Santa insisted that I was in the photo too. I wasn't sure why he made such a big deal about it until he groped me while the photo was being taken. FML

Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML

#20988758
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41769) - you deserved it (6888)

On 12/11/2013 at 8:14am - misc - by pootie (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while trying to break up with my girlfriend, I somehow ended up begging her not to break up with me. I'm still not sure how that happened. FML

#20988052
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37647) - you deserved it (19144)

On 12/10/2013 at 6:38pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Bangladesh

Today, at my job as a night janitor, at which I work alone, I saw an old man enter a bathroom. When I went to investigate, it was completely empty. I'm now scared to work. FML

#20987406
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53680) - you deserved it (3383)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:50am - work - by scared shitless (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31030) - you deserved it (14722)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML

#20876988
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49499) - you deserved it (3947)

On 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm - animals - by ugh Buck! (woman) - United States

Today, I hooked up with the guy I've liked for a while, even though my friends joked that his large pickup truck meant that he was "compensating" for having a small penis. They were right. Very right. FML

#20876171
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53108) - you deserved it (11574)

On 09/10/2013 at 8:14pm - intimacy - by CityBoysNow - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out I do not have a fast metabolism, I've actually had a tape worm living inside me for 3 years. FML

#20875969
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56268) - you deserved it (3251)

On 09/10/2013 at 5:41pm - health - by Iskylite (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

#20862305
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56269) - you deserved it (6001)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML

#20846451
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53002) - you deserved it (5950)

On 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by aly55a_mariie (woman) - United States (California)



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