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dizzybum

Offline (the 11/20/2014 at 9:36am) | Search for a member

dizzybum

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  • Number of visits : 124
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dizzybum's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 5:13pm

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dizzybum's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML

#21116703
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41610) - you deserved it (6673)

On 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm - work - by Anonymous - Norway (Nordland)

Today, I woke up and looked over to see the "beautiful girl" I slept with last night. Turns out it was the obsessive girl from my class with a man-face I had avoided all semester. In conclusion, beer goggles are very real and very powerful. FML

#20149916
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11101) - you deserved it (40915)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:15am - intimacy - by coolguy (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

#17966458
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11775) - you deserved it (41683)

On 10/12/2011 at 8:37am - kids - by John W. (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

#17109395
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18978) - you deserved it (45956)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm - work - by sbutler (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was excited to have a window seat on my three hour flight to New York. When I got to my row, I noticed the screaming newborn occupying the seat in front of me, and a pair of toddlers behind me. I then looked to my seat to find I have no window. FML

#15351755
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30796) - you deserved it (3354)

On 03/17/2011 at 12:56pm - misc - by lalalalalala - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML

#13788956
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7695) - you deserved it (47787)

On 11/10/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

#6433881
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38825) - you deserved it (2954)

On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was playing and laughing with my new baby boy. He was giggling, and it was adorable. Out of nowhere I say "you're my favorite!". Now I'm sitting here talking to my two other children about how what I said earlier I didn't mean personally. They never want to talk to me again. FML

#1176288
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15722) - you deserved it (117402)

On 04/20/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by Damnlife123 (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I asked my girlfriend what her favorite quality about me was. Her answer, "Your car." FML

#1021410
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61661) - you deserved it (8122)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:38pm - love - by suckstobeme (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I am sick with a cold and I go to the most important interview of my life. A giant glob of wet snot comes out of my nose when I am expressing my desire to join their team. FML

#4150
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22882) - you deserved it (1776)

On 01/31/2009 at 1:20pm - work - by Larry - United States (California)



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